That Bites
by thegoblinjester
Summary: A sequel to my other fanfic, Bite Me. This one will still feature Britain, but will also focus strongly on the Asian nations and the Nordics. May contain character death, assorted pairings and traces of peanuts. Also IggyChu.
1. Vorpal Bear

**Here it is! The long-awaited sequel to Bite Me! Will contain whatever pairings I can throw in.**

**The Shakespearean thing might be a while, since this one's all-consuming.**

* * *

"Breakfast is almost ready, Mattie!" I called over my shoulder. "It probably won't be as awesome as _your_ pancakes, but it should be pretty awesome, seeing as how _I_ made it!"

"Thanks, Gil."

It had been a month since Mattie's brother had disappeared. We all knew that it was most likely suicide, but since vampires don't tend to leave earthly remains, there was a slight chance that he had just run off. I knew better than that, but it was good to keep some hope, I guess.

I set the pancakes down in front of the Canadian, who was gazing thoughtfully out the window. Across from him sat Arthur Kirkland. I didn't bother making pancakes for him, of course, because he is a vampire and I don't make blood pancakes.

Mattie, ever the polite, took to inviting the vampire over every so often, as he knew the Brit was probably feeling lonely. Isn't my Mattie the sweetest? Even though he's a werewolf, he invites a brokenhearted and most likely hungry vampire into our house!

Matthew, my dearest, most awesome Matthew, whom I could not comfort nor aid when his brother kicked the sparkle bucket. He hadn't gotten over Alfred's death, and I couldn't blame him, but wasn't it my duty as his (awesome) boyfriend to cheer him up? I was very angry with Alfred, for leaving his little brother feeling guilty and depressed. And I also felt like I was letting Alfred down, because before he died, he had told me to take good care of Mattie. All I could do was hold him and let him know that I understood.

Ludwig had died that day, for about half an hour, and that had been the worst moment of my life. Even though I hadn't been responsible, I felt awful that I hadn't been able to protect my little brother. It was a bit different with Mattie, however, because he had prompted Arthur to turn Alfred. Matthew had acted with good intentions, hoping to save his brother, but Alfred was gone and Matthew took full responsibility for that.

"Isn't it a little early in the afternoon for you to be out and about?" I asked Arthur, trying to dissuade the awkward silence that might fall.

"I haven't been sleeping well." he replied, head resting in his hand and elbow propped up on the table. Normally, I'd make a crack about gentlemen and table manners, but this wasn't the time.

"You mean at all." Matthew sighed. "Arthur, I know you feel awful about what happened, but even vampires need rest..."

"I'll be fine."

"At least _eat_ something!" the Canadian insisted. He acted like he was over the death, that he wasn't picking at his pancakes and not even trying a bite, that he wasn't tearing himself apart inside. Sitting next to him, I took his hand under the table and gave it a squeeze. It was all I could think to do.

"I'm not thirsty." Arthur had that sort of look about him when everything's too much and you just sort of shut down.

"You're going to starve. I don't want to be responsible for another death." Matthew said bitterly.

"It wasn't your fault!" I said hurriedly. "Don't blame yourself, OK?"

"Sorry." he said.

"Don't apologize, either." there was a silence while I thought about what to do. "Hey, how about you and me go on a double date with Luddy and Feli?"

"You and _I_, Gilbert."

"Exactly! It'll be nice! And Arthur, there's really nothing I, even in all my awesommeness, can do for you, but try to eat something tonight... for our sake." ugh, it felt so weird, being nice to a vampire. But if Arthur ate something, then Mattie would maybe feel a bit better, and when Mattie was happy, I was happy.

"We'll see." the Brit said. "I think I'll take my leave now, since you probably have plans to arrange."

"Don't beat yourself up about it, alright?" Mattie said, seeing his friend out the door as I texted Ludwig.

_'Hey little bro, u n feli up for an awesome double date with me n birdie?'_

_'I suppose we're free tonight. Ja, Feli seems to agree.'_

_'The awesome me is thinking we should do somthng special.'_

_'Why?'_

_'Cause birdie's all bummed out about his bro. Wat do u think we should do?'_

_'Feli says pasta.'_

_'Feli always says pasta. Hey, theres that ochstra thng where theres supposed 2 be a rly good pianist tonight.'_

_'If you can get tickets, I'm in.'_

I smirked. The awesome Gilbert ALWAYS got tickets. This was a great idea. Mattie and Feli both liked music, and I supposed I could tolerate it, especially with my Birdie at my side.

"Hey Mattie, ever notice how the word pianist sounds really dirty?" I asked, walking over and hugging him from behind.

"That's something only _you'd_ notice, Gil." he said. I could hear the smile on his voice, though. "Why are you bringing it up?"

"Apparently, there's this really good pianist -keseses, I'll never say that with a straight face!- in town, and we're gonna go and see if he lives up to his reputation."

"Sounds pretty nice, actually." he said thoughtfully. "But please don't bring any rotten tomatoes to throw at people. You remember what happened last time."

"Ja, ja. I know."

"Gil?"

"Yes, my Birdie?"

"Could you let go of me? Not that I don't enjoy your hugs, but I have to feed Kumakimchi."

I sighed. I really didn't feel like letting him go.

"The polar bear can wait." I told him, letting go of him enough for him to turn and face me. I hugged him again.

"He tore apart the bathroom once when I was three minutes late."

"Sorry, but I think my hugs should be higher on your priority list than the state of the bathroom."

He pushed me away, but not before giving me a maple syrup-flavored kiss.

"You're always at the top of my priority list, Gil, but I don't want to have to put new wallpaper up for the third time this month."

"Alright, go feed Mama Bear, Goldilocks. But watch out for the big bad wolf!" I said with a wink. He laughed, and went to fetch some fish from the fridge. I, meanwhile, pulled out my laptop and set about procuring tickets. "So what's this pianist's-heh, I still can't get over that!- name?"

Apparently, his name was Roderich Edelstein and he was from Austria.

"I've never heard of him. What kind of a name is _Roderich_, anyway?"

* * *

**"OK Arthur, my awesomeness is done with you. Go away."**

**"Whatever. FML."**


	2. Vampire, Sorcerer, and Wardrobe

**There may be a gap between this chapter and the next, as I'd like to write some more chapters before I upload more.**

**A reviewer noticed how some of my past works are UsUk, and wondered why I'd ship Britain with someone other than America. The answer is this: China is cute and America is dead.**

* * *

It was raining, which wasn't an uncommon occurrence in London. It merely bothered me because I liked a clear sky when I was hunting, and _certainly_ not because the rain is depressing or anything like that.

Yes, I had finally decided to get myself a meal. Wallowing in self-pity wouldn't fix anything, and I needed to quench my steadily growing thirst. Drinking tea wouldn't do it, not even if I was bold enough to try Alfred's suggestion.

_Alfred... no, you've got to stop thinking about him. At least for tonight. You need to concentrate._ I told myself. _Now remember, don't get too attached to your prey this time._

My heart ached. It did that sometimes, when I thought of Alfred. It was such a stupid, _human_ thing for my heart to do that I usually ignored it. This time was no exception. I didn't even stop to wonder why I still had any feelings left, after what had happened.

_He could be alive._ The thought rang through my head as I tried to push it aside. It was a foolish thing to hope, and even if he was alive, he probably hated me.

Seeing his twin brother hadn't helped much; despite their differences in personality, they had always been the spitting images of each other. Of course, Matthew had slightly longer hair and mellower eyes, but the similarities were still staggering.

I took a deep breath, trying to clear my head of all bitter memories. This was not the time to reflect, it was the time to _dine._

_In hell._

_Yeah._

I followed my nose. Locating a being not too far off, and smelling of lotus blossoms and tea, I leaped off into the night. It was a very fine house, with several people living in it. One person smelled of books and noodles, another smelled of kimchi. I was only interested in the first scent I had caught.

Top story, room with the biggest window. I got it open without too much trouble. It was a lovely room, decorated with red and gold. The bed looked luxurious, and was covered in silk. What was more intriguing, however, was the person who lay on it.

So beautiful, especially for a mortal. Dark hair that shimmered in the moonlight, that must have been as soft as satin. Porcelain skin, unblemished and smooth, and a thin but strong build. Even the way she lay beneath the covers was graceful, somehow.

_You'll make an excellent meal..._ I thought to myself. A meal and nothing more. Despite her beauty, I had learned my lesson about getting attached to my food. Besides, I wasn't into girls, anyway.

Quietly, I slunk across the room and positioned myself next to the bed, leaning down. Oh, she smelled _heavenly..._

"Sweet dreams, milady..." I whispered with a smirk, my fangs only inches away from her neck.

I was so, _so_ thirsty...

"Aaiyah! What the fuck?"

Crap.

It was a guy.

And he just woke up.

I honestly could not respond, partly due to his bright, amber eyes which glared at me in shock and anger. The other part was due to the fact that he was holding me in midair, using a very powerful magic which paralyzed me entirely.

"A vampire? I thought I had wards against those ~ahen!" he muttered to himself, as if I was no longer in the room. I placed his accent as Chinese, and though his voice was a bit feminine, he was definitely male.

"Wow, your eyebrows are thick..." he said, apparently not opposed to invading my personal space long enough to gape at me. I felt the urge to strangle him. I probably would have, but the paralyzing spell was quite strong.

"I hope there's only one of you. Yong Soo would probably wet his bed if a vampire came in through his window. And not out of fear, I assure you ~ahen."

Who was Yong Soo?

"You must be thirsty. I think I shall keep you in my wardrobe for now, so you won't be feasting on my brothers."

Ah.

With his magic, he opened the wardrobe and put me in, all with great grace and dignity. He was really starting to get on my nerves.

"This is a magic wardrobe, Count Eyebrows, but I promise you that it won't be taking you to Narnia ~ahen." he told me, closing the doors and locking them. I sat there amongst fine silken coats, fuming mad.

"Good night, you mosquito." the sorcerer called. "Don't let the _actual_ bugs bite."

After an hour, when I was certain he had fallen back asleep, I began to try wiggling my toes. I could break free of the spell if I could find one little weak spot. Unfortunately, the sorcerer's spell was stronger than anything I had worked myself out of before.

Eventually, I got my left pinky toe free. From there, it was a matter of getting my foot loose, and then eventually my leg.

This was gonna take all night.


	3. Out Of The Closet

**Whoot! New chapter! With China and Norway!**

* * *

"So how's Mathias ~aruka?"

Lukas shrugged.

"Obnoxious, per usual."

"That's what you always say." I told him.

"That's what he always is."

"He sounds like Yong Soo." I remarked.

"He's worse, believe me."

Somehow, I doubted that.

We were sitting in my living room, drinking tea and eating some snacks he had brought. The Norwegian magician and I had been friends for quite a while, especially after my Jia-Long had started hanging out with his Emil. At the moment, they were playing Candy land(technically, it was Unomon-opolyland) in the dining room. I have to admit, I was glad it was Emil Jia-Long was crushing on, because Emil was well-behaved and _utterly adorable._

"Where are Mei and Kiku?" Lukas asked, though he didn't look terribly interested. He never did.

"Mei's with her drama group and Kiku's hanging out with a werecat."

"I didn't know there were any werecats in the area..." Lukas muttered.

"I thought the same about ice demons until I met your Finnish friend. Is the Swede still oblivious?"

"It's hard to tell. He doesn't talk much, but he's very smart. Even if he knew about the magic world, however, I doubt he'd care." the blond replied.

"Because of the ice demon?" I guessed.

"Exactly. As long as he can be with Tino, Berwald is happy. When Berwald is happy, then Mathias doesn't get beat up as much. Which means that I have to do it myself."

"You have a weird way of showing your love ~aru." I said. Lukas bristled.

"I do _not_ love that Danish idiot! What gave you _that_ idea?"

"Well, you just got all defensive when I mentioned that, didn't you?" I said with a sly grin. Lukas glowered at me. "And you talk about him a lot, even if it _is_ mostly insults ~aru."

"You can't prove anything." Lukas said calmly, though his cheeks had gone pink.

"You're right, I can't." I said smugly. "But you can't deny it forever, you know ~aru."

Before he could respond, a _crash!_ was heard from upstairs. We both looked up.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Oh, I locked a vampire in my wardrobe. He must have escaped the paralyzing spell ~aru." I said.

We exchanged a glance, then bolted up the stairs.

The vampire lay on a heap in front of the wardrobe, which he must have forced open. It would take a really strong magical being to do that, I tell you.

We stared down at him, and he glowered up at us.

"I hate to leave on such short notice, but I'm thirsty and a bit sore from being immobilized all night." he hissed.

I knelt in front of him, smiling in a friendly manner.

"If you promise never to come here seeking food again, I'll let you go ~ahen."

"Fine by me." he huffed, sitting up. "I had no way of knowing that you're a mage."

"You should be more careful, then." Lukas said.

"_Two_ mages. Just my luck." the vampire grumbled.

"Oh, so you could tell that _he's_ a mage, right off the bat?" I asked huffily.

The vampire ignored me, getting to his feet and brushing himself off, as if I didn't keep that wardrobe clean. _What nerve!_

After getting over the shock of his eyebrows, however, he wasn't that bad looking... kind of cute, in a scruffy, dorky, pompous, vampiric way...

"Yao, I think I can help strengthen the wards around the house, if you'd like." Lukas offered. I shook my head.

"I can take care of myself ~aru." I assured him. He shrugged indifferently.

"Whatever. Anyway," he turned to the vampire, "what's your name?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"To make sure you don't go anywhere near the necks of the humans I live with."

"I'm Arthur Kirkland." the vampire said, looking as if he thought he was too good to be holding this conversation with us. How rude. "And you are...?"

"I'm Wang Yao, the dragon sorcerer." I told him. "Known pretty well throughout Chinese legends."

"My name is Lukas Bondevik, frost mage." the Norwegian said.

"Well, not that it hasn't been _absolutely enchanting_ to meet you both, I'm afraid I must be off. I haven't eaten in a month, and-"

"Aaiyah! You haven't eaten in a month?" I exclaimed. Didn't vampires have to feed at least once a day to survive? This guy looked as healthy as a vampire could look!

"Uh, yeah..." he replied, averting his gaze. He had obviously not meant to say that. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Then you should go and eat!" I told him. "I apologize for keeping you all night, I didn't know!"

He blinked at me.

"First you're hostile to me, now you're concerned for my welfare?"

"I won't have a vampire starving on my property ~ahen." I said firmly. "Go and eat, then come back for tea later."

Lukas stared at me. I was never the type to invite a vampire to tea, and he knew that.

"Alright..." Arthur said, making for the window.

"And be careful, it's still light out."

We both watched as he leaped from the windowsill, disappearing off into the city. Lukas looked over at me.

"What was that about?"

"What was _what_ about ~aruka?" I asked innocently.

"You just let him go, telling him to get a nice full meal, then you invited him to tea." the Norwegian explained. "You're never this friendly to trespassers. What gives?"

"What kind of vampire doesn't eat for a month?" I replied. "What kind of vampire looks so healthy after not eating for a month?"

"He was probably lying."

"I don't think so..." I said thoughtfully. "I want to hear his story. I want to know why he was starving himself, since vampires tend to be thin by default ~aru."

"And...?"

"And he's cute."

"Ah."

"Will you be staying? I'd rather have more than one sorcerer in the house, if I'm having a vampire over." I said, knowing he didn't trust the blond Brit at all.

"Alright. Emil will be happy about that."

"So will Jia-Long."

* * *

**Unomon-opoly land. A game RedKingOfCake and I invented. It's played like Monopoly, but on a Candyland board and using Uno cards as currency. Also, the pieces are Pokemon and each player gets two.**


	4. I Want To Play a Game

**I purposefully waited to post this chapter until Valentine's day. I ****_do_**** have a Valentine fanfiction up. It's called "Of Hearts" and features a crap ton of pairings.**

* * *

"Uno." I said blankly, holding up my single card.

"What does _that_ mean?" Emil asked, looking more than a little frustrated.

"It means I get another stick of pocky." I told him, reaching into the box. Technically, "Uno" meant that I was pretty much broke, but no need to tell dear little Emil that.

"That was never part of the rules." he protested, looking oh-so-cute and oh-so-grumpy at the same time.

"It is now."

"I hate this game." Emil grumbled. "I'm only doing this for the pocky, you know."

"Of course. It's your turn, which of your Pokemon will you be using?"

Emil studied the board.

"I guess MewTwo." he replied, rolling the dice and getting a seven. He landed on a purple space, which meant community Chest. "'You have won second prize in a beauty contest'" he read, taking one of the Uno cards.

"Only second? Those judges must be blind." I mused, rolling the dice as Emil blushed.

"There _aren't_ any first prize cards." he said coldly.

"Then have a stick of pocky, and we'll call it first."

He didn't seem to mind that, so we continued.

We both looked up when we heard the doorbell ring. I assumed it was a package or something, and let Yao get it.

"Nihao, Arthur!" I could hear my "mom" saying cheerfully. Who was Arthur? "I trust you have eaten?" Yao continued. What an odd question...

"Who's that?" Emil whispered. I shrugged.

"Yao's new boyfriend?" I guessed.

We listened as the conversation continued.

"Yes, I feel much better now." Arthur replied in a distinct British accent.

"Come in, make yourself at home ~ahen!" Yao said. "I have some tea in the kettle now, go ahead and take a seat in the dining room."

Though Yao sounded as friendly as ever, I could hear an edge to his voice. Arthur's, as well, like they were rivals trying to be cordial to each other.

"It's good to see you again." Emil's brother said coolly. He didn't sound thrilled.

"You too." Arthur replied. "Are we free to... talk?"

"My little brother's in the other room."

"He is unaware?"

"No, but his boyfriend is."

I watched as Emil's face turned a brilliant shade of scarlet. I took that as a blessing from Lukas. However, there was something odd going on here. What were they talking about?

"Let's get back to the game." Emil said, still cherry red in the cheeks.

"What's going on?" I asked. "Is there a heist being planned? I totally want in."

"It's none of our business." Emil insisted, tugging on my sleeve. Cute, but even _he_ was acting a bit suspicious.

"Then I'm, like, _making_ it our business. Besides, it's sounds as if it's _already_ your business."

He looked like he felt bad about keeping secrets from me, but my curiosity was getting the better of me.

"I'm taking the last of the pocky." he warned.

"I bought that pocky. I'm entitled to at least half of it."

He paused as I tried to listen in to the rest of Lukas's and Arthur's conversation. Yao had joined them.

"I'll play you for it." Emil blurted out.

I blinked.

"I thought that's what we were doing." I said, gesturing at the game.

"You know what I mean." he said, cheeks reddening once more.

Emil knows me too well.

"Alright." I said with a smirk. "Let's go to my room, though. Yao and Lukas can get a bit... over-protective."

He nodded, still looking like he wasn't sure what he had just done. He picked up the box of pocky and I grabbed his hand, pulling him upstairs, the original game entirely forgotten. This was the opportunity of a lifetime, though I had no previous idea that it was going to present itself, just like that. Emil suggesting the pocky game was too good to be true!

Wait a minute.

"Are you just trying to distract me from what they were talking about earlier?" I asked suspiciously. It wouldn't be all that great if that was Emil's only motive for playing the pocky game.

Emil sighed.

"You're too perceptive." he complained. "Listen, there's something going on, but it's bigger than either of us can possibly comprehend, and we're to stay out of it."

"You're making it sound too interesting." I warned him. "Now I _really_ want to find out what's going on."

"Please don't!" he said, grabbing my hand. After realizing what he had just done, he quickly let go. "I mean... ugh. I hate deceiving people, especially you..."

_Aw._

"I can't explain everything, but I won't lie to you anymore. I don't care what Lukas says."

_Awwww._

"Can we go to your room?" he asked sheepishly. "I'll tell you what I can."

"Alright." I said calmly, though on the inside I'm sure I was melting.

My room is not particularly clean, but it isn't a pigsty. The computer is nice and the walls are a pleasant color, and it's easily my favorite part of the house.

I sat down nest to Emil on the bed, and a comfortable silence fell over us. However, we were here for a reason, so at least _one_ of us had to talk.

"You know how Lukas and Yao are really into old fairytales?" he asked, not meeting my gaze.

"Yeah."

"Well, they practice... magic. And they take it seriously, too."

"Does it work?" I asked, half-joking.

"Yes. Do you believe me?" he asked, finally making eye contact.

"Mm-hmm." I said, real intelligent-like. This was kind of hard to take in, but I somehow wasn't surprised. Lukas always seemed fairy-like to me.

"Don't tease me. This is serious."

"I'm not teasing you." I promised.

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"Thank you." he said. "So... yeah, they practice magic... for good, though. They aren't causing plagues or anything. I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but you'd figure it out on your own, anyway."

"Are you saying I'm smart?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm saying you're nosy." he corrected.

"But you like it."

"We're getting off-topic here."

"I thought we covered everything?"

"Everything that I'm willing to tell you."

"Then I don't see why we can't change the subject." I said, shaking the box of pocky a bit. "If you're still up for it, that is."

Emil looked like he was struggling with himself for a moment, then he sighed.

"Fine, I'll play the stupid game, but only because I want more pocky."

"As you wish." I said, putting a piece of pocky in my mouth.

* * *

**Humans in this story just don't react right.**

**"Oh, you're a bloodsucking monster? Alright then!"**

**"Your brother practices magic? Whatever. Let's play the pocky game."**

**"You're a werewolf? Nice."**

**Seriously. It just isn't natural.**


	5. Werewolves In London

**This chapter isn't very plot-moving, but I needed it because... alright, I have no excuse, but hey, at least I updated it quickly. I promise that the next chapter will include Sherlock references and Finland.**

* * *

"That pianist really _was_ good!" Feliciano gushed. "I mean, the rest of the orchestra was, too, but I think the piano stole the show! What do _you_ think, Ludwig?"

The German shrugged.

"I wouldn't know what qualifies as 'show-stealing', Feli."

The brunet laughed, and I chuckled as Gil rolled his eyes.

"Luddy just _pretends_ to know nothing about music..." he muttered.

"Do _you_ know anything about it?" I asked.

"Sure! When I was in fifth grade, I played the violin! Though I gave it up after a while..."

"Why?"

"The teacher was a dick." he said it with such a straight face that I started laughing. "What? What's so funny?" he asked, confused.

"Just... the way you said that!" I told him, wiping tears of mirth from my eyes. "You're so funny, Gil..."

"Funny in a good way, right?" he asked, smirking.

"Funny in a lot of ways." I said, smiling at him. He grinned and hugged me, though he had to let me go quickly so we could keep up with Feliciano and Ludwig.

"Say, Ludwig, isn't the full moon in a couple days?" Feliciano asked. Ludwig nodded.

"Really? I'm excited!" I said. I hadn't yet experienced being in wolf form, and I was really looking forward to it.

"It's not _that_ fun..." Gil said uneasily. "Even if you manage to stay in control, you still have to fight back the thirst for human flesh."

"I'll be fine, Gil." I insisted. "Ludwig's told me all about his methods to stay in control. I think I can manage it."

"He should do better than you, I think." Ludwig said to Gil, who bristled.

"Ex_cuse_ me for not being the king of self-control!" he grumbled angrily. I squeezed his hand.

"It's alright, Gil." I reassured him. "Plus, you won't have to worry about hurting me this time." Ludwig had told me that werewolves tended to get along with each other, if they knew each other well in human form. "And Feliciano will be staying with Lovino and Antonio, so you won't have to worry about him, either."

"Not that Ludwig wouldn't protect me from any danger, though~" Feli chimed in.

"It's better to be safe than sorry." the blond told him.

"So Mattie, how's Arthur?" Feli asked cheerfully.

"I... he hasn't eaten in a month." I said. I didn't feel like this was something Arthur wanted to make public, but who on earth could lie to Feliciano Vargas? "I was talking to him about it today, though, and we might have convinced him to go find a meal."

"That's good! I know it must be tough for him, but he really does need to be able to take care of himself." said Feli.

I nodded, then remembered that he was walking slightly ahead of me and thus, couldn't see me.

"Yeah..."

Gilbert put his arm around my shoulders comfortingly. I could never express exactly how grateful I was for his presence. Talking about Arthur reminded me about Alfred, which was still painful.

We _could've_ gotten Alfred to a hospital. I had just reasoned that Alfred might have liked to be immortal with Arthur forever. Who was I to make that decision for him? Granted, I was his twin brother who knew everything about him, but _STILL._

My phone buzzed, indicating a text.

"Oh? It's from Arthur..."

_'Watch your back, there are more deadly forces in this country than I previously thought.'_

Gilbert, reading over my shoulder, laughed.

"We're three werewolves and an angel; what do _we_ have to watch out for?"

"I'll ask."

_'What do you mean by that?'_ I typed, then hit "send".

_'I met two sorcerers today. Seem nice enough, but according to them there may be demons lurking about.'_

"Demons? In this boring country?" Gil said skeptically. "I highly doubt it."

I relayed Gil's doubts to Arthur, leaving out the "boring country" bit.

_'The Norwegian sorcerer lives with a powerful ice demon, who is apparently friendly, but we need to be on our guard.'_

"Don't ice demons live in, like, _icy areas?_" the albino asked. I shrugged.

_'Did you get something to eat?'_ was what I sent back to Arthur.

_'Yes, _mum._ I feel much better now, actually.'_

"Well, at least we did _some_ good..." I said to Gil, who laughed and hugged me.

* * *

**New challenge for you, my readers: guess who the murderer is before I even bring it up in the story. Hint: it's most likely someone involved in the battle which lead to Spain being cursed.**


	6. Ice Ice Baby

**I was thinking of doing a mad libs contest thing, but I gave up on that.**

* * *

_'Something we need to talk to you about. Meet me at Yao's house.'_ was what I sent to Arthur. Barely fifteen minutes later, we were both in the Chinese sorcerer's living room. Deciding to shoot first and ask questions later, I grabbed both of them and disapparated.

We arrived at my doorstep, where Yao slapped me and demanded to know why I had dragged him here in the middle of tea.

"String of supernatural murders. Nothing taken, just dead people." I said, rubbing my sore cheek. Arthur perked up.

"Murders, you say? Why didn't you tell us earlier?" he asked, all excitement and curiosity. He turned to Yao. "Come now, Watson! The game is afoot!"

Yao slapped him, too.

"Listen, I can't have either of you acting weird-weirder than normal, I mean- in front of everyone, because we have a couple humans living with us." I told them both. "Once in the upstairs sitting room, we'll be free to talk. I brought you here because it's well-protected and has wards against eavesdroppers. Plus, the ice demon I was talking about lives here, too."

Arthur nodded quickly, eager to talk about murder and stuff. Yao merely looked haughty and crossed his arms. I took that as agreement and let them in.

"Lukas? Is that you?" Mathias called. I sighed, not wanting to have to shake him off.

"No, it's Harry Potter. You idiot, of _course_ it's me. Who else would it be?" I asked. "Berwald, Tino and Emil are all here, and I'm the only other one with a key to the house. Two keys, actually, since I confiscated yours."

"What? When did that happen? I don't remember that!"

"Of course you don't." I muttered under my breath, dragging my two new friends upstairs. "Send Tino up, will ya?" I called back down.

"Sure thing!"

Once we were out of earshot, Arthur turned to me.

"So he's one of the two humans you live with, correct?"

"One of three, actually. My little brother is still human, and I think he intends to remain that way."

"Same with mine ~aru." Yao said.

Arthur nodded, though I could see he was lost in thought. Maybe it had to do with the reason why he hadn't eaten for a month?

I led them into the sitting room, and Yao made himself comfy in the best armchair, leaving the couch and the wicker chair that could fall apart at any minute. Arthur and I sat on the couch, the vampire glaring at the brunet. Ooh, sparks.

"So... murders?" Arthur said after a moment of tense silence.

"Yeah. We should wait for Tino, though. He knows the most about them."

The Brit considered that for a moment.

"Is he... powerful?"

I smirked.

"Immensely. He is the strongest ice demon in all the world, and has carved entire valleys in his anger."

Arthur looked just a tad nervous.

Yao rolled his eyes.

Someone knocked at the door.

"Ah, here he is now." I said, getting up to answer it.

Arthur jumped when he saw the person on the other side.

"Seen Tino anywhere?" Berwald asked. I heard Arthur sigh in quiet relief.

"No. Tell him to come up here if you find him, Berwald." I told him. The Swede nodded, and left.

Arthur looked paler than he normally did.

"Criminy! He's..."

"Terrifying? Yeah. A supernatural monster? No." I assured the vampire. "He's been dating Tino for a while, actually."

There came yet another knock at the door.

"Come in." I said, not feeling like getting up again. Tino entered, and smiled nervously.

"Hey Lukas. You didn't tell me you were bringing a vampire over..." he laughed.

"Hey Tino. I just wanted to spare you the trouble of trying to bring blood into your, er, cooking."

Arthur stared incredulously. He leaned over to Yao.

"_This_ is the powerful ice demon?" he whispered, though I heard every word of it.

"Yes, and I've been on the receiving end of his power. Don't cross him ~ahen."

"Tino," I said, looking pointedly at the whisperers, "this is Arthur Kirkland. Arthur, this is Tino."

The Fin smiled brightly and Arthur got up to shake his hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you! I've only known a couple vampires before, but most of them were pretty nice! Except for one Russian man... but that's not the point!"

Arthur smiled politely, though I could see that he was a bit overwhelmed by Tino's exuberance.

"Let's get down to business." I said. "Tino, these two want to help figure out these murders. Care to give them an explanation?"

Tino sat down in the rickety chair. He was the only one light and brave enough to do so.

"Sure! Let's see... humans are dying in the streets, slightly depriving both me of souls to eat and vampires of fresh blood to drink, and the thing is the deaths seem to be caused by supernatural forces! Which is funny, because they're neither drained nor had their soul forcibly taken. You see, there's lingering magic around each corpse, and no wounds whatsoever, so you can see what a conundrum we're in!"

Arthur had to take a moment to absorb that all.

"So... you blokes are like a crime-fighting squad of international monsters?"

"Exactly!" Tino laughed.

"Count me in!" Arthur exclaimed.

* * *

**I hate writing the way Berwald talks. "S'n T'no an'wh're?" just doesn't feel right to me, so I try to minimize the apostrophe-for-vowel substitution as much as I can. **

**You'll notice that Tino's summary of the murders takes up only one paragraph, and he doesn't really go into great detail. That's because these guys won't take the murders that seriously until someone they know dies...**


	7. Lukas The Fairy

**I hope Sweden's not too OOC... I don't write for him much.**

* * *

Though it probably would have seemed suspicious to other people, Mathias and I had grown used to Tino and Lukas meeting with Yao. The man with the eyebrows wasn't really much different than the usual lot.

This time was a bit different, however, because I had decided to bring them coffee. Normally, I wasn't known for committing random social acts of kindness, but I wanted to do something nice for Tino. It seemed my entire life revolved around him, not that I'm complaining or anything. He really is the light of my life, and I swear I'd do anything for him.

The coffee wasn't anything special, just the usual brand that Lukas always brought home. The whole setup wasn't extraordinary, but coffee wasn't my area. I could hold my own in a fight, and I could garden, and I could make furniture and things like that, but a carefully arranged snack was beyond me, so I just settled for what I could do.

Mathias laughed at me as I went up the stairs, but I pointedly ignored him. He wouldn't be so cheerful when Lukas would make sure to thank me for the coffee in front of him.

Right before I was about to knock on the door where Tino and his friends were chatting, I heard something that made me pause.

"So what's it like being a vampire, Arthur? I've always been meaning to ask..."

Vampire?

"It sucks." a voice replied in a distinctly British accent.

After a pause, Tino and Yao laughed. I imagine Lukas smirked.

"We should get back on topic..." the Norwegian said, though I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Right, right... so do you fancy yourself a detective?" I heard Tino ask.

"I've read a lot of Sherlock Holmes... _and_ watched the modern adaptation."

More laughing.

"That series has never dealt with anything like us ~aru." Yao said.

What did he mean by that? Actually, scratch that. I knew exactly what he meant by that.

Yao, Lukas, whoever Arthur was, _Tino,_ were all something... else.

Of course, Tino was _always_ something else, but until that moment he had always been 'something else' as in cheerful, bright, friendly, accepting, _human_ Tino.

"So any theories on _why_ this being kills, if it doesn't gain anything?" the Brit asked.

"Not a clue." replied Lukas.

"Whatever it is, it's extremely powerful." Tino remarked. "I don't know if _I_ could defeat it."

I always knew that Tino was stronger than he looked or acted, but this sounded... like I hadn't even begun to imagine what he was capable of.

"Nonsense. The only thing that could beat you is a fire demon." Arthur said dismissively.

Either they were using code words, or I didn't understand the world as well as I thought I had.

"Oh, I'm not _that_ great!" Tino laughed. I had to disagree. "I'm sure there are _many_ things that could eat ice demons like me for breakfast.

Ice demon...

"Say, anyone want coffee? I'll pop downstairs for a moment..."

"I'll take tea, if you have any." Arthur said.

"Me too ~aru."

"I'll see what I can do!" Tino said.

I could hear him making for the door, and I was frozen. I would have just walked away, if I could, but my knees locked and I couldn't move.

Besides, what was the point in running away?

The door opened, and Tino was still laughing, until he caught sight of me. My heart ached as he paled, and his eyes widened.

"Berw-"

"Brought s'me coffee." I had to force the words out, holding out the tray. "F'rgot Yao likes tea."

He stared at me for a moment, then bolted past me, heading downstairs. I heard the back door slam.

_Dammit._

Lukas, who had gotten up to see what the commotion was, glared at me.

"What did you hear?"

I ignored him, preferring instead to shove the tray into his arms and rushing off to find Tino.

He was in the garden. The garden that I tended to just for him. He sat alone on a small stone wall that divided the lawn from the flowers. Something in me might have died when I saw that he was crying, and it might have been my fault.

Quietly, I walked over and sat down next to him. He took a sharp intake of breath in surprise when he noticed me, but didn't say anything.

"Tino..." I began, but then stopped when I realized that I really didn't know what to say.

"Oh god, Berwald, I'm so _sorry..._" he said this so quietly that I had to take a moment to be sure I had heard him right.

"What for?"

He looked at me incredulously.

"Surely you heard...?"

I nodded.

"Then... you _must_ be mad at me, for keeping that from you... I mean, it's a pretty big deal... me being a monster from the underworld and all..."

"I always figured y' were somethin' different." I told him. "Humans don't come anywhere near as pretty as you."

You wouldn't believe the shade of red that his cheeks turned as he sharply moved his head to look up at me.

"Berwald! Don't say things like that!" he exclaimed.

"Sorry, but it's the truth."

"So... you're not mad?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"'M still a bit s'prised 'bout the whole magical creatures thing, though..." I said.

Tino smiled. That made me happy.

"You're handling it much better than most..." he told me.

"So you're a demon..."

"Yeah, but I won't eat your soul or anything!" he hurriedly assured me. "Arthur's a vampire, but we'll make sure he won't come anywhere near you, Mathias or Emil. Lukas and Yao are sorcerers, though I suspect Lukas is part fairy. Don't you think he'd make a good fairy? Or an elf?"

Good, the talkative Tino had returned. That meant everything was alright.

"Yah, he would."

"Don't tell him I said that, though. You know how he gets! Say, have you noticed? I think he likes Mathias! It makes sense, because they balance each other out well, but Lukas really doesn't do a good job of showing it!"

"I kinda already figured that there was somethin' between 'em..." I said with a slight smirk..

"Really? It's a shame Lukas is so uptight that he can't talk about the magical world! He firmly believes that an immortal should not be with a mortal, but I told him that I could be with whoever I want, and if he tried to interfere I'd eat him."

The way he spoke so easily about threatening to eat his friend was hilarious and slightly disturbing at the same time. But mostly hilarious.

"So he's immortal?"

"Yeah! He and Yao each figured out the secret to eternal life and youth. I think it was a one-time thing, though, or they'd use it on Mathias." and then he frowned.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"It's just... I've been trying not to think about it, but all humans have to die, and I'll just keep on living, and..."

I could see where this was going. I gave him a hug, because it's really hard to go for more than fifteen minutes without hugging him.

"It's OK." I told him. "We're together now, an' that's what counts."

He sniffled, but returned the embrace.

"Thanks..."

"Love ya, Tino."

"I love you, too."

* * *

**You all realize that I will have to compensate for the fluff in this chapter, right? People will have to die. You should all be taking bets on who dies first, seriously.**

**Also, I think Spain is the murderer. Maybe.**


	8. My Heart Will Go On

**Oh god, this chapter... it's full of my feels... don't worry, no one dies yet! It's just that characters I kill off have a bad habit of reappearing later on...**

**Also, has anyone seen The Beautiful World? It's season five of Hetalia(only five episodes out subbed so far) and it is SO PRETTY. France is looking so unbelievably sexy that I wish I hadn't killed him.**

* * *

After some discussion and an agreement to meet up at the next crime scene, Yao and I left. It was kind of awkward after Tino had run off. Yao was still mad at me for calling him "Watson", even though it was kind of a compliment because Martin Freeman is amazing. But why would I compliment Yao, anyway? He was frustrating and haughty and arrogant and seemed to think that he was better than me.

Of course, if he was Watson, then I was Sherlock, and while that was good in theory, we'd have perverted fangirls writing fanfiction about us.

_Anyway,_ since it was getting late in the afternoon, I went straight to bed.

Vampires typically don't dream, so you'll understand my confusion when I found myself in a sunny, flowery meadow and wasn't burning. I could tell it was a dream because the sunlight was blue and the flowers were singing.

Also Alfred was there.

My first reaction? I slapped him.

Maybe Yao was rubbing off on me.

Unfortunately, my hand never made contact. It didn't go through him, and I didn't miss, I just couldn't hit him. Believe me, I _wanted_ to.

"Geez, Artie. That's the welcome I get?" he asked. "I feel _so_ loved right now."

My second reaction was to hug him, but again, I couldn't touch him.

"Arthur, we're, like, existing on two different planes right now. No touchy."

He sounded so calm, it was weird.

"Alfred..." I didn't know what else to say.

"That's me."

"You bloody wanker!" I shouted. "You arse! You nincompoop! You jackaninny! How could you just _leave_ like that? Your brother's _distraught,_ and don't get me _started_ on what you did to _me!_"

Alfred held up his hands.

"Artie, calm down. What's done is done and there's nothing either of us can do about it."

I glowered at him.

"Dude, the death glare doesn't work on the already-dead." he laughed.

"How can you be so bloody nonchalant?" I demanded angrily.

"Bloody whatnow? Is that a type of cocktail?" he asked innocently.

"Even in death, your stupidity is boundless." I sighed, sitting down and resting my head in my hands. Alfred came over and sat next to me.

"Hey man, I'm sorry ." he said. "I really am. But you should know being a vampire just isn't my style."

"But suicide _is?_"

"Well, it was one or the other, and immortality just doesn't work for me." he said. "Artie, I love ya, but I liked being human. It meant I had, you know, a motivation to get things done."

"You mean death."

"Exactly! Sometimes, immortality just doesn't work out... I really didn't want to take what I call the 'Bella path'. Like, can a man who can't die ever truly live?"

I glowered at him. His excuses were bad and he should feel bad.

"So why come back to haunt me, then?"

"Ever seen the movie 'Ghost Town'? I didn't choose to remain, dude." he told me. "You're subconsciously holding onto me. I'd be in heaven right now, if it weren't for you."

I gasped.

"Alfred, I'm sorry-"

"It's alright, Artie. I probably wouldn't let _you_ go so easy, either." he said with a sweet smile. "But I need you to let go, dude. I can't hang around in the ethereal realm forever, and the longing could kill you. Don't you get it? I'd be constantly there, just out of reach, and anyone would go mad of grief, I'm sure."

"How am I supposed to just let you go?" I demanded. "I love you so much, Alfred, and I don't care if you're out of reach, I want to be with you forever."

"You and I both know that that's a lie." he said. I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off. "Arthur, I'm not just out of reach physically, I'm out of reach in every sense of the word. Don't try to tell me that it won't affect you, because I can see it already is."

I touched my cheek and was surprised to find tears there.

"Artie, if you really do love me, then let me ascend." he said. "Besides, you've already got your eye on somebody else."

"No I don't!" I exclaimed. "How would _you_ know, anyway?"

"Ghostly powers." he shrugged. "But I think you really like Yao."

"How _could_ I? He's arrogant and rude and a show off and-"

"-it sounds like you two have a lot in common."

"-and I hate him, Alfred!"

"That's a shame, because it looks like he likes you, too." Alfred was starting to get on my nerves. Couldn't he see that I only cared for _him?_

"What the devil are you talking about? He _slapped_ me today!"

"I suppose he didn't think you were Sherlock Holmes material."

"You know what? I give up!" I announced exasperatedly. "I don't care if you think I like him. I don't care if you can't get into heaven because of me. _I don't bloody care!_"

"You do care, Artie."

"Don't tell _me_ how I feel!" I growled. "You broke my heart!"

"And I'm really sorry, Arthur, but there are other things you need to concentrate on. The murders, for instance."

"I don't care about those anymore." I insisted, wiping away the tears on my sleeve.

"Then I suppose Yao will take over the investigation?"

I glared at him.

"I can't let that jerk take over." I said. "And I'll prove to him that I can solve any case _he_ can!"

"Then we're all good!" Alfred said. "But in order to do that, you really need to stop dwelling on me. I'm just a good-looking distraction."

"In your _dreams._"

"No, Artie. In _yours._"

I rolled my eyes.

"Wait, if I like Yao, which I don't, then why are you still here? You'd think me finding a new love interest(which I haven't) would be ample ground for you leaving me alone."

Alfred shrugged.

"This is _your_ dream, Artie. Maybe you're being a bit indecisive about what you want."

"Go haunt your brother or something."

"Nah, I did that _last_ night."

I sighed, and decided to change the subject.

"Do you have any idea of what's behind the murders, then?" I asked.

"Not a clue, my man. But you know the story behind Antonio's golden touch?"

"Yeah, I asked him about it a couple weeks ago."

"Try checking with those involved in the curse. See ya!" he waved, slowly fading away.

"Wha- you're leaving?" I asked. "But-"

"Good night, Artie."

I awoke with a start, and promptly buried my face in my hands. After a minute or two of wallowing in self-pity, I wiped my tears away and texted Yao.

'_I have a new lead -AK_'

'_Texting Sherlock style, hm? -YW_'

'_Yes -AK_'

'_So what's your lead?_'

'_I'll meet you at your house tomorrow morning to explain -AK_'


	9. What Is This Feeling?

**Yay Spain!**

* * *

"Hola, Arthur! Who's your friend?" I asked cheerfully.

"Wats-"

"Yao Wang." the Chinese man said, glaring at Arthur.

"Nice to meet you!" I said. "Come in, make yourselves comfortable!"

I led them inside, and had them sit on the couch. I also warned them to be quiet, since Lovi was taking a siesta and was always a bit grouchy when he woke up.

"You mean he's not grouchy _all the time?_" Arthur asked sarcastically.

"He sounds like you, Arthur." Yao remarked.

"So what brings you two here?" I asked.

"We want to know what happened to that spider demon who cursed you, and the man who the curse was actually aimed at." Arthur said. "It's alright, Yao's a sorcerer." he added when I looked doubtful.

"Oh, OK!" I said. "Let me think... well, the spider demon kind of disappeared and I never saw him again. He was a really good pianist..."

"What was his name?" Yao asked.

"Roderich Edelstein."

"That sounds familiar..." Arthur said.

"Does it? It's not a very common name... at least, not around here." I said thoughtfully. "Anyway, Vlad survived, but his curse was worse than mine."

"Oh?" Arthur looked intrigued.

"Si. You see, Roderich was always very creative with curses... I mean, who gives a guy the power to turn things into gold? He was probably trying to turn _me_ into gold... anyway, he turned Vlad into a vampire... who's allergic to blood."

"So what did he eat?" Yao asked.

"He couldn't. He just kinda starved... but never died, of course. I imagine it was painful..." I said.

"Wait a minute. How often do vampires need to feed?" asked Yao.

"Once a day." Arthur replied.

"But you told me you hadn't eaten in a month!" the Chinese man exclaimed. "And yet you looked so healthy! Did you lie to me?"

"I'm an older vampire, Yao. It didn't feel good, but I could've gone much longer without eating if Matthew hadn't been bugging me about it."

"Why were you starving yourself?" Yao demanded angrily. I avoided meeting Arthur's gaze, as I knew Yao had hit a sensitive topic.

"Why should _you_ care?" the Brit asked.

"It's what friends _do_ ~ahen!"

Arthur blinked, taken aback.

"We're _friends?_"

"I guess so!" Yao replied, a bit loudly.

"Shh!" I reminded him. "Lovi's still asleep!"

"Sorry." he told me, though he was still glaring daggers at Arthur. However, it was the kind of glare I knew very well. That kind of loving "I hate you but I need you" glare.

"I can give you guys Vlad's phone number." I offered, trying to direct the conversation back to where it had begun. "We haven't spoken in a while, but I think he'll be up for a questioning. Speaking of questioning, why do you want to know all this?"

"Ask _him._" Yao said, gesturing to Arthur.

"Well, Antonio, surely you know of the string of supernatural murders?" Arthur asked. I nodded. "Uh... I had this dream... and Alfred told me to investigate the people who were involved in your curse."

"Who's Alfred?" Yao asked.

"Never you mind." Arthur hissed.

"Vlad would never kill anyone!" I insisted, trying to drag them away from the dangerous waters. "He really is a good guy!"

"Still, he might know something." Arthur said, looking relieved.

"Good point. Here," I said, writing down Vlad's number, "I'm pretty sure it's still the same as it was when we last spoke..."  
Just then, a sleepy-looking Lovino walked into the room.

"What's this, the Spanish Inquisition?" he asked wearily.

"Oh, you're awake!" I said happily. "Lovi, you remember Arthur, right? And this is Yao Wang, a sorcerer."

Lovi took no notice of Yao, preferring instead to glare at Arthur.

"What?" the Brit asked.

"Let Alfred go to heaven, dammit. Being stuck between worlds sucks." Lovi said. Arthur looked stricken, and Yao looked like he was angry that we were hiding something from him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Arthur said.

"Like fuck you don't." Lovi said. "I was just having a dream, and he was there, and I swear I've never seen anything sadder in all the world."

"Lovi..." I said, "this isn't the best time..."

"Toni, that man _died _for this pair of eyebrows with a vampire attached. He deserves to go to heaven." Lovi said.

"Who are _you_ to decide who goes to heaven?" Yao demanded.

"An angel." Lovi replied, crossing his arms. Yao opened his mouth like he was about to say something, then thought better of it.

"Yao, let's go." Arthur said. "We've got the information we need, anyway..."

After they had left, I pulled Lovi into my lap and sighed.

"I wish you had been nicer about that." I said.

"You wouldn't be saying that if _you_ had seen Alfred." Lovi grumbled, though he did not reject my embrace.

* * *

**You may be wondering why Yao introduces himself in the western order. This is because he lives in Britain and introducing himself as Yao Wang makes everybody's lives a little easier. Especially mine.**

**Geez, everyone was thinking that Alfred was a jerk in the last chapter... am I the only one who feels bad for him? Maybe that's just because I killed him...**


	10. Call Me Maybe

**The amount I love China is THROUGH THE ROOF.**

* * *

"Who the hell is Alfred?" I demanded the moment we were out of there.

"I don't want to tell you." Arthur said, a bit childishly.

"You will tell me, or so help me I'll cover you with glitter ~ahen." I threatened.

"I really don't want to talk about it, alright?" Arthur said, looking more than a little sad. I softened slightly.

"You can tell me. I won't tease you or anything, I promise ~ahen."

He looked at me, and sighed.

"Alfred F Jones..." he began, then paused, trying to collect himself. I waited patiently. "Alfred was a self-proclaimed supernatural investigator and hunter. He saw me for what I was when I thought he was just an oblivious idiot, and he accepted me for it, even though he was sworn to kill those of my kind.

"I... I loved him. I still love him. With all my heart. And then he got kidnapped by this French vampire, Francis Bonnefoy, who claimed that he was in love with me, and if he couldn't have me, no one could. Alfred sacrificed himself for me. Lovino and his brother, Feliciano, defeated Francis. Alfred was on the brink of death. Alfred's brother, Matthew, convinced me to turn him.

"Immortality didn't appeal to Alfred, I guess. Soon after he awoke, he ran off and... and..." he paused to wipe away the tears that had begun to spill from his eyes, "and then he killed himself. Stepped right out into the sun and broke my heart."

I suddenly understood many things about Arthur. Why he had been starving himself. Why he didn't seem to want to get close to anyone.

"Arthur..."

"Say what you will, I don't care." Arthur said glumly. "Alfred may have been an obnoxious git, but he was _my_ obnoxious git..."

Not knowing what to say, I pulled Arthur into a hug. I took him by surprise, I suppose, as he gasped before hugging me back.

"I'm so sorry, Arthur..." I said, and I meant it.

"I guess Lukas was right when he says that immortals and humans shouldn't mix."

"Lukas is wrong and in denial." I told him. "Mortals may break our hearts, but they also leave us the happiest memories we'll ever have ~ahen."

After a moment, we pulled away, a bit sheepishly. Arthur held up the phone number.

"Shall we give Vlad a ring?"

"Alright. I can put a spell on the phone, so we'll know if he's lying ~ahen." I said, preparing the enchantment as Arthur dialed and turned speakerphone on.

After four rings, someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hello. This is Arthur Kirkland. To whom an I currently speaking?"

"The name's Vlad. I'm not interested in whatever you have for sale, mister."

"I'm not a salesman!" Arthur said indignantly. "I just wanted to ask you a couple questions. I'm a friend of Antonio's."

"You know ol' Toni? How is he?"

"He's doing quite well." Arthur replied.

"Good to hear. You say you have some questions?"

"Yeah. You know about the recent string of supernatural murders, right?"

"I hear about them. Are you something supernatural?"

"I'm a vampire." Arthur said conversationally. "So do you have any idea what could be causing the killings?"

"Am I on the suspect list? I swear I haven't ever killed anybody."

Arthur looked over at me. I nodded.

"Alright, I believe you." Arthur said. "But you have no idea who the killer is?"

"I don't get out much."

Arthur seemed to take this as a suitable answer.

"That's fine. Thank you for your time."

"Wait, don't hang up. Check out Roderich Edelstein. You should find some info about him on the World United Symphony website. Bye."

He hung up.

"Well, he's off the list." Arthur said, putting his phone away.

"He _was_ telling the truth, but didn't he seem a little evasive to you?" I asked. "He avoided saying anything about having an idea who the killer could be, aside from that bit about Roderich ~ahen."

"You're right, but we should still check out Roderich before we come to any conclusions." Arthur said. "Let's go to Lukas's place. He and Tino would like to hear about this, I'm sure."

* * *

"Dumb move, pretty boy." my captor hissed, snatching the phone away from me. "You'd better hope that Roddy doesn't know it's me."

* * *

**OK, so the murderer probably isn't Spain. I kinda wish it was, but it ain't.**

**Y'all seemed pretty upset when I said it was him... don't worry! The murderer is actually Canada.**

**...**

**...**

**LOL no.**


	11. As You Wish

**Guys, I'm so, so sorry for what happens in this chapter. Seriously. Get a box of tissues ready.**

* * *

When the doorbell rang, Lukas remained seated, Berwald and Emil were out and Mathias was upstairs, so it was up to me to answer it.

"Hello? Oh, hi!" I said, allowing Arthur and Yao in. "How goes it?"

"We've got two new suspects and a website." Arthur said. I had them sit down.

"Two new suspects?" Lukas asked. "And why did you not bring me and Tino along? We're part of this investigation, too!"

"I'm sure we would have been a third wheel..." I said.

"What are you implying?" Arthur asked.

"Nothing!" I sang.

"Right..."

Lukas and I sat and listened as Arthur and Yao explained the suspects. Lukas pulled out his laptop so we could visit the World United Symphony site. Roderich, apparently, was their pianist, and a very good one at that.

"I thought the name sounded familiar!" Arthur said. "Matthew, Gilbert, Ludwig and Feliciano went to see that symphony perform, and Matthew told me about it!"

"Let's all of us pay Roderich a visit tomorrow." I suggested.

"And don't you two go running off without us." Lukas warned. "Besides, the only one here with more power than a creature demon is Tino. You two would be toast without him."

"Aw shucks, Lukas. I'm not _that_ powerful!" I said.

"You froze an army of fire sprites." Lukas reminded me. "All you did was look at them, and they fell to the ground like bowling pins."

"Oh yeah..."

"I'm not exactly helpless, myself ~aru!" Yao said.

"Me neither!" Arthur added.

"I could have my troll buddy beat both of you to a pulp." Lukas said calmly. "And then I could take your remains, build you two back up again and then kill you."

"So, all together, we should send that spider demon running home with his metaphorical tail between his legs!" I said, trying to ease the tensions that were suddenly rising.

"Exactly! Hm, we need a team name..." Arthur said. "Dumbledore's Army?"

"How about TALY?" Lukas suggested. "Tino Arthur Lukas Yao?"

"That's lame ~aru!" Yao said. "What about MAGIC? Mythical Arcane Group of Investigatory Concerns?"

"That's kinda cool..." Arthur said.

Lukas and I agreed, so we became MAGIC.

Of course, I had to start singing "Do You Believe In Magic?", earning a glare from everyone else in the room.

"We need a leader." Lukas said. Simultaneously, Yao and Arthur opened their mouths to speak, and then glared at each other. I knew that if one were elected leader, the other would be unhappy. There was only one solution.

"I nominate Lukas." I said. Arthur and Yao blinked.

"I second that." Arthur said after a moment.

"Me, too ~aru."

"Alright." Lukas said with a shrug. And then the phone rang. Lukas picked it up.

"Hello? Yes, this is he... another one?"

Arthur, Yao and I all leaned forward.

"I- oh." Lukas suddenly looked very small and very pale. "Oh my. Really?... Are you sure?... god, I suppose I'll have to... he _what?_ Oh..." Lukas glanced at me. "That's alright. I can do it. Yes, I'll be fine. It's not me I'm worried about. No, don't send it in the mail, I'll pick it up... thanks... bye."

Lukas hung up, and took a shuddering breath.

"Get Mathias down here."

I was confused and terribly worried. Nevertheless, I hurried upstairs.

"Mathias, Lukas wants to see you..." I said, knocking on the Dane's door. It was opened fairly quickly.

"Really?" he asked hopefully. "He doesn't usually..."

I brought him downstairs, where we sat down on the couch. Mathias looked expectantly at Lukas.

"Guys, I don't know how to say this..." Lukas said. "I... god... it's Berwald."

"Berwald is god?" Mathias asked, befuddled.

The world suddenly became unreal to me. What was happening? Berwald was dead. I was suddenly very helpless. I couldn't do anything or think properly. All I could manage was an open-mouthed stare.

"No..." Lukas said, and his voice wasn't cold or harsh at all. "He's dead, Mathias."

Lukas saying it out loud had made it real. The world returned to me and the weight of it all crashed down upon me. I think I started crying.

Mathias seemed disbelieving for a moment, then he went very pale.

"He... _what?_ No... how could... Lukas, is he really.."

The Norwegian nodded, biting his lip.

"_How?_" Mathias asked. Of course, he wasn't aware of the murders...

"It doesn't concern you." Lukas said, his cold voice returning.

"Doesn't concern me? I've know that guy for years! He's my best enemy!" Mathias said, though in a quieter voice than usual. "Of course it concerns me, Lukas!"

"You don't know anything." Lukas hissed.

I slammed my hands on the coffee table and got to my feet, ignoring the tears in my eyes.

"LUKAS , JUST TELL HIM!" I yelled. I was vaguely aware of the fact that the table was now covered with a thick layer of ice. Arthur and Yao scooted away. "JUST TELL HIM ALREADY!"

"Tino, I know you're upset, but-"

"Damn right I'm upset! I suspect Mathias is, too! But do _you_ give a damn?"

"I do care, Tino."

"You sure as hell don't act like it!" I exclaimed. "Just tell Mathias what's going on! He's as much a part of our family as you are, he deserves to know!"

"Yeah!" the Dane said.

"If you don't tell him, I will!" I said.

Lukas glared at me.

"Mathias, Yao and I are sorcerers, Tino's an ice demon and Arthur's a vampire." the Norwegian said calmly. "Berwald was killed by a mysterious supernatural being on the way home from the jewelers."

"The jewelers?" I asked.

"They found him with a ring in his pocket." Lukas said. "An engagement ring."

This was too much.

I turned and ran upstairs to my bedroom.

* * *

**No hatemail or death threats, please. I already feel bad enough about this as is.**

**Finland's handling pretty well, all things considered. If you murdered MY sweetheart, I'd probably go all Princess Buttercup on everyone - but only AFTER I go on a murderous rampage.**

**If it helps, I bet Sweden's just been kidnapped by the dread pirate Roberts. He'll come back, about a year after this story is finished, and rescue Finland from the Sicilian Crowd. **


	12. I Won't Say I'm In Love

Yao and I felt quite awkward watching all this from the sidelines. Neither of us were really a part of this family, but we were a part of MAGIC and thus, weren't really sure what to do. So we watched.

"You mean to tell me," Mathias said, "that vampires and demons are real?"

"Vampire and demons are just the beginning of it." Lukas replied.

Mathias stared at him.

"This is crazy."

"Look at the coffee table, Mathias." Lukas said, gesturing to the frosted-over piece of furniture.

Mathias shook his head.

"I must be hallucinating."

"Then we're all sharing the same damn hallucination." Lukas said calmly.

"You're joking."

"I don't joke."

"This isn't a very good time to be kidding around, Lukas." Mathias said, looking desperate. "Berwald is dead, and you're telling me he was killed by _fairies?_"

"Fairies wouldn't do such a thing. Hobgoblins, maybe, but not fairies.

"This... you're all crazy... I... I can't deal with this."

With that, Mathias hurried out the door and left the house. Lukas stared after him.

"See? Mortals are nothing but trouble... I warned Tino about getting too close..."

We all pretended that there weren't any tears in his eyes.

"I should probably go get him before he gets himself killed." Lukas sighed, getting up. "Yao, could you go get Emil and Jia-Long and bring them here? They should be at your house."

Yao nodded.

"What about me?" I asked.

"Do you think you could try to get Tino to calm down?" the Norwegian asked as a crash was heard from upstairs. "I don't want the house frozen over again."

"Why me?"

"Because you understand what he's going through best." Yao told me, putting a hand on my shoulder. Somehow, Yao was right. I nodded, and we all got up to perform our respective duties.

As I walked upstairs, I began to see how terrible the wrath of an ice demon really was. Pictures were smashed, the banister was covered in snow, the air grew steadily colder as I continued my ascent...

I could immediately tell which room Tino was in, as it was the only room with a door that shuddered like a cold wind was passing behind it.

I knocked on the door.

"Tino? It's Arthur."

"Go away."

"If you continue like this, Britain shall have a snow day in July." I said.

When no response came, I opened the door.

As I walked inside, I realized that it was Berwald's room Tino had taken refuge in, and not his own, judging by the Swedish flag on one wall and the general neatness of the room.

The Finnish man was lying on the bed, hugging a pillow. The entire room was snowy and very cold.

_What am I doing? I barely knew Berwald, and was only recently introduced to Tino! This is a bad idea..._

"I need to be alone right now." Tino sniffed.

"I understand-"

"HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND?" he yelled, and the temperature in the room dropped by ten degrees.

"The love of _my_ un-life died _twice_, and both times were my fault."

Tino blinked.

"Oh... I didn't know..."

"There's no way you could have."

Gingerly, I sat down next to him.

"I'm not gonna try to cheer you up, because I know what you're going through." I told him. "But listen, I had a dream recently, which is odd because vampires don't dream. In it, the man I loved told me that I was preventing him from entering the afterlife. I was holding on to him too tightly, and thus, holding him back.

"So try to let Berwald move on, alright? For his sake. I know a couple angels, and I'll put in a good word for him."

Tino stared at me, as if trying to figure out my reasoning. He had this tired, heartbroken look that Alfred might have been making in the dream, but I had been to angry to notice.

"That's easy for _you_ to say." he said at last.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Don't think I don't see the way you look at Yao when you think he can't see." Tino said with a sad laugh. "Ah, don't give me that look. Who do you think you're kidding? He's the earth and heaven to you. I've lived with Lukas long enough to tell when someone is hiding feelings for someone else. Moving on is easy for _you,_ because you've got somewhere to move, but I don't think there will ever be anyone else for _me._"

"There doesn't have to be." I told him.

"I'm well aware of that. Will you leave if I promise that I won't freeze all of Europe?"

I nodded, and gave him a sort of awkward pat on the shoulder before leaving.

* * *

**Iggychu. Everyone can see it but them.**

**As I said, Tino's handling this pretty well. Well enough to make a Disney song reference, at least.**


	13. Impossible

**Mathias reacting like a human ought to.**

* * *

_What the hell is happening what the hell is happening what's going on what the hell is happening._ the mantra continued in my head. I didn't know where I was going, but eventually, I just stopped and sat down on the curb.

Magic wasn't real. Lukas and Tino and their friends must have just been messing with me.

Maybe Berwald just died in some freak accident, and this was Lukas's way of dealing with it.

This wasn't something _Tino_ would do, though. He wouldn't pretend to be an ice demon, if his boyfriend had just died.

Maybe Berwald wasn't really dead, and they were all playing an elaborate joke on me.

_Berwald's always hated me, anyway._

I'd by lying if I said that there weren't tears in my eyes. No matter how much I denied it, I could see that Lukas had truly believed what he was saying, which meant the love of my life was a total nutcase.

I had always figured that he was a bit eccentric, but I had found it endearing.

Until he started talking about sorcerers and demons and vampires.

That made me freak out.

Just a little bit.

_Why does he have to be so damn lovable?_

"Hey, are you alright?" a voice asked. I looked up. The man had dark hair and tan skin and was probably Spanish. I gave him a feeble shrug.

"What's the matter, amigo?"

Yeah, definitely Spanish.

"Heck if I know."

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked, sitting next to me.

"You'll think I'm crazy." I warned him.

"Try me."

I looked over at him. He seemed nice enough.

"Well, I just found out that the guy I love may or may not be a sorcerer, one of my best friends may or may not have gotten killed by a magical monster and that guy's boyfriend just might be a demon. Also, there's a vampire in my house."

The Spaniard laughed.

_Great, he _does_ think I'm crazy._

"Amigo, that's not anywhere _near_ as crazy as some of the crap I've been through!"

_Huh?_

"Sorry for your loss, though. Hey, is the vampire's name Arthur Kirkland, by any chance?"

"I think so..."

"Small world, then! He's a friend of mine!"

"But... this is impossible!" I insisted. Was this guy even crazier than the rest? "It's impossible for all my dearest friends to be... you know, magical! All that stuff doesn't exist!"

The Spaniard smiled softly.

"You're the first human I've ever met to react like this, believe it or not. Of course, the others were always a bit... touched in the head. Except my Lovi, but as it turns out, he isn't human, so... yeah."

"You can't expect me to believe that this is real."

He laughed again, and then picked up a leaf off the sidewalk. He took off his glove, and then motioned for me to watch.

When the leaf touched his left hand, something... _impossible_ happened.

It turned to gold.

The Spaniard smirked at my bewildered expression, and handed the leaf to me with his right hand, and then put his glove back on.

The thing was real gold, alright.

"You can keep it." he assured me.

I stared at it in astonishment.

"So... magic, vampires, demons... it's all real?"

"Si! You're not crazy, I'm sure."

"Then Lukas really is a sorcerer."

"Lukas? Who's that?" the Spaniard asked with a twinkle in his eye that told me he already knew.

"Most amazing guy I've ever known. If looks could kill, he'd probably be arrested for murder. He's so cute and elegant and even when he's threatening to kill me I just wanna hug him forever and oh dear lord I called him crazy and walked out on him."

When I first began that little tirade I was sighing happily, but then I realized what I had done and my mood turned sour.

"Dios mio! Do you know how dangerous it is out here? There is a serial killer on the loose who is probably a supernatural being of some sorts! Lukas must be worried about you!"

"I doubt it." I sighed. "I was kind of a jerk earlier... I accused him of not caring about Berwald..."

"Amigo, based on your description, your Lukas sounds a lot like my Lovi, and if they're anything similar, then I'm positive that Lukas cares about you. He probably just thinks he'll look weak if he shows it. Can I give you a ride back to your house? As a mortal who's 'in' on the whole magic thing, it's kind of my duty to keep others like me safe."

I considered the offer for a moment. On one hand, I barely knew this guy; who knew if he was the killer or not? But on the other hand, he seemed nice enough and my house wasn't that far away.

His car was pretty damn nice, and a bright shade of red. He said it reminded him of tomatoes; I said that it reminded me of the Danish flag, which was the only Nordic one I could think of without any blue in it.

I gave him the street address, and we were on our way.

"So... who's this 'Lovi' guy? Is _he_ a vampire?" I asked.

"No, he's an angel." the guy, whose name I learned was Antonio, said conversationally. "You wouldn't think it at first, but he really is a sweetheart."

"How do you two work, then? With him being immortal and all..." it was a question that was kind of bugging me.

"Well, I can imagine that it must be terrible for him, knowing that he'll probably have to watch me die, but we agreed that he could visit me in heaven whenever he wants! So I have to make sure to live a good life, because angels aren't allowed in hell."

Lucky him, then. Poor Tino wouldn't be able to do the same, since I'm positive Berwald would never end up in hell. Was Lukas immortal? That would probably be a good question to ask. Were Berwald and Emil in on the whole magic thing? Emil probably figured it out early on, he's so smart. Berwald wasn't stupid, but hey, love is blinding.

"Gosh," I said as we reached my house, "if Tino really is an ice demon, then I won't be surprised to find our own little snow day in there."

"Ah, wasn't he dating the one who died?"

"Yeah... I still find it hard to believe that Berwald is dead."

We said our goodbyes as I got out of the car, and I thanked him time and time again. After a final wave, his car was out of sight and I now had to face whatever was waiting for me in the house.

After a deep breath and a few bracing thoughts, I opened the door and crossed the threshhold.

"Huh, you're still alive."

I looked up, surprised to see Tino sitting at the kitchen table.

"Yeah, I am..." I gave him a half-smile. "Sorry I thought you were all crazy."

Tino shrugged.

"You had the most human reaction out of anyone, though I think Emil might have fainted when he figured it out."

Well, at least _I_ stayed on my own two feet.

"You gonna be alright, Tino?"

He shrugged again. I noticed something sparkle on his finger.

"Whoa, what a rock!"

Tino smiled slightly at it. It was quite a beautiful diamond, sparkling like freshly fallen snow.

"Berwald sure had good taste."

"Yeah," I said, looking the Finnish demon in the eye, "he sure did."

Tino gave a smile that was almost sincere.

"Lukas is upstairs."

* * *

**"But the world is full of zanies and fools**

**Who don't believe in sensible rules**

**And won't believe what sensible people say**

**And because these daft and dewey-eyed dopes**

**Keep building up impossible hopes**

**Impossible**

**Things are happening every day"**


	14. It's Possible

_Hey Lukas,_

_After Yao brought Emil home, we decided that we'd overstayed our welcome. We understand that one of your close friends is dead, and another is unbelieving, and you should feel free to just take some time to mourn in peace. However, the killer is still out there, so Yao and I are going to go interrogate this Edelstein fellow tomorrow. You can come if you want, but we understand if you don't._

_With all due respect,_

_Arthur Kirkland._

I typed up a reply telling him to go ahead and interrogate. I really didn't feel up to questioning anybody. Besides, I'd probably be a third wheel. When I had failed to find Mathias, and had picked up the ring, I went straight home and shut myself in my room. Tino didn't bother me, and I didn't bother him. I didn't know what Emil was doing, but he was staying out of my way, so it all worked out.

Except for the fact that I couldn't stop worrying about Mathias.

_Stop thinking about him!_ I told myself. _Immortal/mortal relationships don't work! Look at what happened to poor Tino! And Arthur _must_ have liked a mortal, or why would he have been starving himself? Mathias isn't all that special. It'll be better for me if he died right here and now._

For some reason, I hated myself for thinking that last bit.

_He's going to die eventually, anyway. It's better if I don't care. I _don't_ care. I couldn't care less... FORGET ABOUT MATHIAS ALREADY! Just because he's gorgeous and lights up a room with his smile and is kind and brave and- STOP ALREADY. I can't be in love with him. I'm _not_ in love with him._

I don't think I believed myself in the slightest.

And then I realized that I had typed that all in the email and pressed send without thinking about it.

Crap.

_Arthur!_ I wrote. _I didn't mean to send that!_

After a minute, a new message arrived.

_I figured as much. Too bad I already showed Yao._

Betrayal of my trust, if you ask me.

_I hate you, Arthur._

Quick and to the point.

_Yao has now sided with you. You'll be pleased to know that he slapped me and called me something I don't wish to type._

I could work with that.

_Kinky._

And there we go.

_IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT!_

Sure, Arthur. Keep telling yourself that. I was about to respond when I heard the front door open in a way I recognized immediately.

It was Mathias.

At first, I was relieved that he was back. I had been so worried!

But then I remembered that I hated him, that I wasn't supposed to be worried and that I fully intended to kill him, since the murderer seemed to have failed to do so. If you want a killing done right, you've got to do it yourself.

After a minute or two downstairs, I could hear those slightly heavy, kinda jaunty footsteps... heading right for my door.

Mathias Kohler, I swear I'll wring your neck someday.

"Lukas? I'm back..."

No shit, Sherlock.

I decided not to respond.

"Lukas? I'm sorry I called you crazy... I wanna talk to you."

_Go away go away go away go away._

"Come on, I know you can hear me. I don't care if you're Lord Voldemort or what, I just want to talk."

Did I forget to lock the door?

_Creeaak_

Whoops.

"I'm coming in."

Duh.

I looked up from my position on the bed. And then I realized that this was a vulnerable position to be in, so I sat up and closed my laptop.

Mathias smiled sheepishly at me.

_Why do his eyes have to be so blue? Why does he have to be so persistent? Why do I love him?_

"Lukas..."

"Go away." I told him.

"Come on, I know you were worried about me."

"Like _fuck_ I was." I said, rolling my eyes. He wasn't perceptive at the best of times, so I could act like he had just been misreading the atmosphere. "Have I ever told you how much I hate you? It's a hate so intense that, to fathom it, it must be put into song."

"You're gonna sing?"

He looked too hopeful for my liking.

"You know the song about loathing from the musical 'Wicked'?"

"Yeah?"

"Well then, that song perfectly describes my feelings for you, so I have no need to sing."

Mathias laughed, but then managed to sober up and look me in the eye.

"For once in my life, Lukas, I'd like to have a serious talk with you."

"Ugh, fine."

He sat down on the bed next to me.

"So... magic and shit, eh?"

"Yes, that's been established."

"You're immortal, then?"

"Mm-hmm."

He looked like he was trying to decide what to say. I rolled my eyes, waiting for whatever stupid thing would come out of his mouth next.

"I love you."

See? Stupid.

Wait, _what?_

I must have looked disgusted or something, because Mathias promptly began apologizing.

"Shit, I'm sorry! I've ruined everything, haven't I? Dammit! Why do I always screw everything up? I-"

I cut his sentence short by giving him a hard shove, so he fell back on the bed.

"Shut up, Mathias."

"Sorry!"

"What are you, Canadian? Quit apologizing." I told him.

"So... you feel the same?"

"I..." I couldn't lie to him. "We can't be together, Mathias. Mortal/immortal relationships don't work. See what happened to Tino and Berwald? To Arthur?"

"So what?" Mathias asked, and I could hear the underlying passion to his voice. "What if we could be the one that works? There's a first time for everything, you know."

"You don't get it!" it was getting hard to contain my emotions. "They don't work because the mortal always has to die! That's why they're called 'mortals'! And I don't intend to let my heart get broken by an idiot like you!"

"Wouldn't it be better to be together, even if for just a short time, than to never be at all?" Mathias asked, slight desperation in his voice.

"You're not the one who'd have to go on living!" I told him angrily. "From the moment I became immortal, I promised myself that I would never let myself get emotionally attached to a mortal. _You_ can't fathom getting attached to someone, watching them die and then living forever, because you've never had a taste of immortality."

"So... you're saying that you'd care if I died?" he asked hopefully. I stared at him in disbelief.

"Do you even hear what I'm saying?" I asked. "I'm telling you that I don't _want_ to care if you die! Do you _want_ me to live with eternal heartbreak? And besides..." I took a breath. I had always been good at lying, but this time it would be trickier. "I'm not interested in dating you, anyway."

Mathias laughed.

I slapped him.

"Ow! Sorry, Lukas, but you can't tell me you're not interested in me after that long tirade about heartbreak."

I made an exasperated noise. This idiot just wasn't getting it.

"I meant that it would be _possible_ to grow attached to you! And I don't want that to happen!"

Mathias stared at me for a moment.  
"What if... what if I _became_ immortal?"

"_What?_"

"Think about it!" Mathias insisted. "I don't fancy being a vampire, but a werewolf might be cool! And then we could be together!"

One track mind, much?

"First off, werewolves are not cool. Secondly, don't throw your life away!" I told him. "Immortality isn't all it's cracked up to be; anyone could tell you that. If I could, I'd go back and reverse the spell that made me immortal!"

"But-"

"But nothing! I won't have any mortal lives sacrificed for me." I said firmly, crossing my arms. "Unlike what the media has led you to believe, love can't conquer everything, and it's not worth your life."

Mathias frowned, but then he brightened.

"You love me?"

I stared at him, not quite able to comprehend how determined he was.

"Did I say _anything_ like that?"

Mathias shrugged.

"You definitely said 'love' somewhere in there."

"'Somewhere in there'? You mean to tell me that you weren't listening to a word I was saying?"

"I listened to the word 'love'."

Mathias is utterly hopeless.

"You're hopeless." I told him.

"Hopelessly in love?" he tried. "Listen, Lukas, I won't do anything rash, I promise... but I really do love you. Do you think we could at least try to work something out? Because earlier I met this guy, a mortal guy, and he said that he's dating an angel and they've kinda worked it out and I realize that you're not an angel-though you'd make a good one, I think- but if they can do, certainly _we_ can, right?"

I won't pretend that his expression was melting me.

"You don't even know if I like you in that way or not." I pointed out.

"I'm just kinda winging it." Mathias said with a shrug. "You haven't said anything about outright loathing me, so I figure my chances are alright."

I studied him for a moment, trying to decide what to do. And then I just decided to wing it, like he did.

I leaned in and kissed him.

Before he had a chance to react, I pulled away.

"Alright." I said, ignoring how fast my heart was beating.. "We can figure something out."

Mathias stared at me incredulously, but then a wide grin broke out on his face.

"Fantastic!"

* * *

**God, this chapter is long and unwieldy and pointless...**


	15. Something Bad

**So I'm going to Japan for a couple weeks, and won't be able to update.**

* * *

_Ding-dong~_

I sighed. I really didn't like being interrupted while I was playing the piano.

_This had better be good... or I'll eat whoever is at the door..._

I was kind of hoping for girl scout cookies.

"Yes?" I asked, opening the door.

"Are you Roderich Edelstein?" the blond one asked. I could tell immediately that he was a vampire. The brunet one, however, was slightly harder to identify.

"Who wants to know?"

"I'm Arthur Kirkland, and this is-"

"Yao. Yao Wang." the brunet finished, glaring at the vampire.

"I wasn't going to introduce you as 'Watson'!" the blond said indignantly.

"I don't care ~ahen." the brunet said.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"We're investigating this recent string of murders." Arthur said. "You've heard of them, right?"

I nodded.

"I suppose you have a few questions, then?" I asked. They nodded. "Come inside. Excuse the mess; I was composing."

I led the two of them inside, knowing that I was more than a match for either of them if they tried to attack me. I had them sit on the couch, and I took a seat across from them. Arthur and Yao shot dark looks at each other from time to time.

"Ask away, and be quick about it. I haven't got all day." I said.

"Well..." Arthur began, but Yao cut him off.

"Do you have any idea whatsoever of who could be behind the killings ~aruka?"

"Let me think..." I said. I hadn't given the murders much thought, so it took me a moment to mentally compile the information. "No trace of a struggle or wound on any of them, right? I came across a weapon that could kill in such a way, a long while ago... it was stolen from me, and I have no idea who the thief was.

"Speaking of, if you two manage to apprehend the murderer, I would like the weapon back." I said. "I won't do any harm with it."

"Describe it." Arthur said.

"It is a weapon of unimaginable power." I told him. "You can hit someone with it, and it will not leave a single mark, but it will kill them immediately. It does so by draining that person's remaining years from them. Whoever wields the weapon has access to all that time, and can use it however they please.

"As a demon, I have no use for it, but I'd like to keep it out of the wrong hands." I continued. "And it looks like whoever has it now is _definitely_ the wrong hands."

"What does it look like?" Yao asked.

"It takes a form much simpler than you'd think." I said. "In form and composition, it closely resembles an ordinary frying pan."

* * *

**This PROVES that Spain is the murderer! :O **


	16. Never Go Against A Hungarian

**Sorry for the wait! Japan was fun... though the manga museum was disappointing and I HATE airplane food.**

* * *

"A frying pan... who would have guessed?" I asked, as Yao and I were walking back to his house. According to Roderich, the only people who knew what the weapon did were the people involved in the fight which had led to Antonio's curse, and we had already ruled out Vlad.

"Crazier weapons _have_ existed." Yao said. "Hypothetically, one could do much damage with a simple wok ~ahen."

"Still, it's just a bit ridiculous..." I said. "Using dishware to steal one's remaining years... and why a frying pan? Whoever made it must have been a Tangled fan."

"The weapon was made _decades_ before Disney even existed." Yao said, rolling his eyes. "You're so _thick-headed_ sometimes, Arthur ~ahen."

"And you're the one who said that the murderer could be using iocane powder." I retorted.

"It could happen!" Yao insisted.

"Iocane powder is purely fictional!" I told him. "There's nothing like it, not even in the deepest folds of the magical world!"

"Your _brain_ is fictional!"

"Like your masculinity!"

"You did _not_ just go there!"

"I think I just _did._"

Through our arguing, we were getting closer and closer, and we finally noticed it. Awkwardly, I looked away under the pretense of crossing my arms. Though brown was a fairly common eye color, his eyes never failed to pierce whatever soul I had left.

Why did such an arrogant, rude, spiteful, petty man have to be so gorgeous?

Yao looked like he was about to say something, but he was cut off by a howl in the distance. I looked up.

"Full moon..." I noted.

"You can take on a werewolf or two, right?" Yao asked, and was that an undertone of nervousness to his voice? That was... kind of cute.

"I might not need to." I said. "I could just let them have you."

Yao glared at me, though it looked like he was trembling slightly.

"You may be immortal, but I can make you wish you were dead ~ahen."

"What, are you scared of werewolves?" I asked. "Scared of pathetic little mutts who can't be housebroken?"

"You should re-think that last sentence." a voice snarled from behind us. Yao shrieked, jumped in the air and then latched onto my arm. I turned.

I had to take a good look at the wolf before I recognized him. He had cream-colored fur and forget-me-not blue eyes. He was standing on his hind legs, and rose several heads above me.

"'Evening, Matthew."

But there was something off about him. As it was his first time being in wolf mode, I could see that he had lost control of his bloodthirsty side. He did not acknowledge my greeting, preferring instead to advance on us.

Instinctively, I stood in front of Yao, ready to protect him.

"Does that little snack mean something to you, blood-drinker?" Matthew asked. Now I recognized the voice as his, though it was darker and raspier than usual. "How cute. I think I shall eat him first, and make you watch."

Yao was definitely shaking now.

"Matthew, snap out of it!" I commanded.

The wolf blinked, and he seemed to realize what he was doing.

"What the- Arthur? Oh god, did I- are you alright? I'm so sorry..."

"No fault of yours, lad." I said, aware that Yao was staring at me like I was crazy.

"I don't know what I was thinking!" the Canadian said. "I just saw you and I didn't recognize you and- who's this?"

"This is Yao Wang, a sorcerer." I said, shoving Yao forward. He made a noise of shock and protestation, but I ignored it. "It's alright, Yao. Matthew Williams is a friend of mine."

"Matthew? Alfred's brother?" Yao asked tentatively, trying to edge away from the wolf.

"Arthur's mentioned me?" Matthew asked.

"Once or twice." Yao replied.

"It's nice to meet you." the wolf said politely. "I'm sorry I scared you; I'm not used to being a wolf."

I could see Yao soften at this.

"It's alright ~aru. It wasn't your fault."

"Thanks." Matthew said. He looked around. "I've lost Gilbert... god, I hope he hasn't killed anyone."

"We'll help you find him." I assured him, offering my arm to Yao, who looked suspicious but took it anyway. "Just in case Gilbert leaps out at us." I told him.

I might have spoken too soon, as a few minutes of walking later a great white canine jumped out of the shadows, clearly attempting to knock me to the ground. Matthew intercepted him, however, and knocked the albino wolf to the ground.

"What are you-"

"Gilbert, get a hold of yourself!" Matthew said. Gilbert snapped at him, still not in control of himself. Matthew growled at him, and Gilbert seemed to recoil slightly. He pressed his ears down and whimpered obediently.

"Good boy." Matthew said.

"This is demeaning." Gilbert said.

"Sit."

"What?"

"I said sit!"

Gilbert sat, if a bit reluctantly. And then he seemed to see me for the first time.

"Arthur! What are you- oh. I didn't attack you, did I?"

"You weren't in control of yourself." I said dismissively. "You did give Yao a fright, though."

The sorcerer glared at me.

Matthew asked me how the investigation was going, so I told him about meeting Roderich and the discovery of what the murder weapon was. Gilbert started as I mentioned a frying pan.

"Sound familiar?" I asked him.

"It's just... I knew a girl who enjoyed hitting me with one of those..." he said. "It was so not awesome."

After some more chatter, Matthew and Gilbert headed off to find Ludwig.

"I think I've gotten over my fear of werewolves." Yao told me. "Those two really aren't terrifying ~ahen."

"Not in the slightest." I agreed.

When we reached his house, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"They've found another one." said Lukas.

"Who?"

"They won't say. Meet me at the crime scene? I'll text you the address."

"Why is this one so urgent?"

"They have an eyewitness this time."

Yao and I exchanged a glance.

"We'll be right there."

I supposed that I could hold off eating until the next night...

* * *

**Dude. Who do you think the eyewitness could be?**

**Hint: curious George's dead counterparts.**


	17. Psycho Killer

**Apologies in advance, my dear readers. I just did a thing which is sad in nature.**

* * *

They kept asking me questions, and I kept refusing to answer. Not just because they were mortals.

They tried to take him away from me, but I wouldn't let them. I would stay with him for as long as I could, or at least until one of his family got there. They would probably hate me for not being able to protect him, but at least I'd be able to give the murderer a face.

He looked so peaceful, just lying there. I was slightly grateful that the killer had given him a quick, painless death. Only slightly.

Finally, one man who must have been a sorcerer managed to pull me away, promising that there were merely going to put the body on a gurney.

"Heracles? What are you doing here?"

I looked up to see Yao, closely followed by what smelled like a vampire.

Judging by the question, Yao didn't know yet.

"I'm the eyewitness." I said, not daring to look him in the eye.

"Then you saw the murderer?" the vampire asked.

"Only briefly. She was gone before I could get a good look."

It was amazing how calm I could sound.

"She?" the vampire asked. "Ha!" he said, turning to Yao. "I _told_ you it wasn't Antonio!"

"It was just a theory!" Yao insisted.

"Have you seen the body yet?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.

"No. Why should it matter? They were all killed the same way, and none of them were connected otherwise." Yao said.

"This one matters." I told him.

Yao looked at me funny, and then grabbed the vampire and went to go see the body.

I braced myself for the scream that would surely follow.

I waited a moment, and when I heard nothing, I got up to see what was happening.

Yao couldn't seem to make a sound. He was just staring at the body in shock. I joined him, feeling tears in my eyes again.

"Kiku..." the Chinese sorcerer whispered.

I stood next to the body, staring down at the only person I had ever loved. He looked so peaceful... the sight did nothing to help my already-aching heart. Who would have figured that I could be so emotional? Only Kiku could ever make me feel anything so strongly.

The vampire, though he looked a bit awkward, got straight down to business.

"What happened?" he asked me.

I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to go and be alone with some cats for a while. My cats would understand.

However, if my story would help them catch whoever did this, then I was willing to tell it.

First things first, though.

"Are you Yao's boyfriend?" I asked.

The vampire turned an excellent shade of red which, in other circumstances, I would have felt a bit smug about.

"What the- of all the- _no!_" he stammered. "We're just investigating the murders together!"

I shrugged.

"You can investigate together and still be dating." I said. How I managed to say things like that with a straight face, while the man of my dreams lay dead next to me, I'll never know.

"We're not dating!" the vampire insisted. Lucky for me, Yao was too busy weeping over Kiku to get involved in the argument... and I just made myself feel bad. I shrugged at the vampire again and then returned my attention to Kiku.

After a moment of silence, Yao finally spoke up.

"Seriously, Heracles... what happened ~aruka?"

The sorcerer who had pulled me away earlier looked up, listening in.

"Well..." I said, taking my time. "We were walking home from the library... Kiku helped me find some manga he wanted me to read, and I found him a good book on Greek mythology... we were on a well-lit street, close to my house, so neither of us could have anticipated...

"I would have noticed her earlier, if I hadn't been distracted by Kiku at the time... she came at him from behind, and I only noticed her just before... before... just before it happened." I felt an uncomfortable lump in my throat, and my eyes were still watery.

"The noise it made... the frying pan, that is. It was such a strange sound, like the rewound version of what it should have been... Kiku... Kiku hit the ground before I could do anything. I only got the briefest glance at the woman before she was gone.

"She had... honey-brown hair... quite long, too. I think she wore a flower behind her ear... I don't remember much other than that. It was quite dark, and she disappeared a moment later. She smelled human, but with a touch of something... otherworldly."

The vampire nodded, and the blond sorcerer took down a note.

"I didn't catch much else." I said. "Though she seemed quite practiced with the frying pan."

The vampire started, looked thoughtful for a moment, then pulled out his phone.

"Gilbert... mentioned something..." he muttered, texting someone.

Yao, ignoring him, turned to me.

"You could have done something."

I could tell he was serious by the way he didn't add an "aru" at the end.

"I could have." I admitted.

"You were distracted. By my brother. Do I even need to ask what kind of a distraction it was?"

"He's very pretty... Don't you often get distracted by pretty things?"

I have a very weird way of dealing with things.

"You're treading on thin ice." Yao hissed.

"I'm merely stating the truth." I shrugged. "It's funny... you're always obsessing over 'cute' things, but this vampire here isn't your usual brand of 'cute'. He must be really good in bed or something..."

Yao blushed, and the vampire coughed uncomfortably.

"This is not about me!" the brunet exclaimed. "We're talking about my brother!"

"And you're trying to blame me for his death."

"The ONE time we have an eyewitness, he's too cowardly to do anything to save my little brother's life!"

Alright. I understand that Yao was really upset, but come on, I was upset too!

"Do you think I just stood idly by and watched?" I asked, an undertone of anger growing in my voice. "If I could have done something, _anything,_ I would have! Do you think I don't care about Kiku? Do you think that this night won't haunt me for the rest of the foreseeable future?"

"You never knew him as well as I did!" Yao insisted. "I took him in! You wouldn't know what it's like being an orphan, would you. You have your mother to come running to when you're scared. Kiku never had that! Yong Soo, Mei, Jia-Long and I... we were all each other had! We had to build our _own_ family, since we never had ones of our own!"

"And how is this relevant?" I demanded. "Did you know that I was his first friend? Did he ever tell you about how he never talked to anyone? Family is nice and all, but he was starved of friendship!"

Yao looked stricken. I felt a sick sort of smugness at my minor victory.

"He... never mentioned any of that."

"Maybe that's because you were smothering him. You tried so hard to keep him from danger that you also kept him from having a social life! And... I won't pretend I had all the answers, that I was his salvation. We were just two lonely people who found each other. I wasn't quite as sheltered as he was; I just wasn't interested in people... until I met him.

"I don't suppose you remember your childhood... it must have been an awfully long time ago... but it can be terrifying without a friend. He meant the world to me, so I don't see why you're trying to blame me for what happened!" words were just spilling out now, much like the tears that were being shed by the both of us.

"And you know what, I never got to tell him how I feel. Do you know what that's like? I suppose I'll spend the rest of my days regretting not telling him sooner. Don't look at me like that, you've always known that I... that I love him. I wouldn't trade the time we spent together for all the cats in the world."

Yao opened his mouth as if to say something, then seemed to think better of it. The blond sorcerer produced a chair out of nowhere, and Yao sat down. The vampire, though looking a bit apprehensive, walked over and put a hand on the brunet's shoulder. It was so awkwardly adorable that, in other circumstances, I would have said something mildly snide and heavily suggestive.

"He loved you too, you know." Yao said after a moment.

I wasn't quite sure how to respond.

"I know who the killer is." the vampire said. Yao and I both looked up.

"You do?" Yao exclaimed.

"Don't look so shocked." the vampire said haughtily. "It was fairly obvious."

"Who is it?" Yao demanded.

"Well, it was the frying pan thing that was bugging me... and then I remembered that Gilbert had said something about a girl he knew who liked to hit him on a head with a frying pan. It'd have to be someone who knew that Roderich had a magic kitchen tool... so I first messaged Gilbert, who gave me her name, and then I texted Antonio, who said that the girl was the one who Vlad liked.

"She was the one who was enamored with Roderich. No one knows what happened to her after that mess of a fight... so I can say with ninety-nine percent certainty that the killer is Elizaveta Hedervary."

* * *

**DUH.**

**Do you think I made Greece a bit too like Hong Kong in this? Sorry. Giripan and HongIce are kinda similar, if you think about it.**

**Do you think I made Japan a bit too dead in this?**


	18. The Final Battle

Revenge is ice cream. It is sweet, and a dish best served cold. I like ice cream.

After a hasty apology to Heracles, Lukas cast some spells and managed to verify Elizaveta's location. She was in a more rural area of the country, so we'd probably have to apparate there.

"Listen, you two." Lukas said. "I... am not a fan of being in the center of the battle. I prefer to operate in the sidelines. So would it be alright if I take my leave? Please don't think it cowardly of me, I simply prefer not to dirty my hands. Plus, if I were to die and you two were to live, you'd have to deal with Mathias and Tino."

"Go ahead." I said. "We won't think any less of you. However, if we win with no difficulty, I'm coming over to your house and saying 'you missed out on an awesome fight ~aru.'"

"Fair enough." Lukas said with a nod. And, just like that, he disapparated.

"I don't care what he says, Lukas is a coward." Arthur sighed. "And I thought he was our leader... we may have to mutiny."

"That might be fun..." I said thoughtfully, grabbing his arm so as not to leave him behind while apparating. And alright, it was also to have some form of physical contact with him, but mostly apparating. "As long as I can be the new leader."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there." Arthur said just before we turned on the spot and disapparated.

A pleasant breeze blew my hair into my face as I silently plotted out exactly how this revenge mission would go. It was quite a nice, empty, hilly park. A good place to kill whoever murdered my brother.

"Who the hell are you?" a female voice asked from behind us. I turned to find a young woman who quite matched Heracles's description. Her eyes were green and intelligent, and she was standing with her arms crossed.

By the way, I am totally exempt from the "no gentleman shall ever hurt a lady" rule, because 1) this bitch killed my brother and 2) who the hell said I was a gentleman? Arthur is the gentleman.

"Yao Wang." I told her. "Elder brother of Kiku Honda, who you killed."

"You mean the Japanese kid?" she asked. "Oh god, don't start with the 'you killed my brother, prepare to die' line. You're dorky enough as is."

I bristled. No one calls me dorky!

"Nevertheless, you shall meet the same fate as the six-fingered man." I replied. "Or perhaps I should save you for my friend, the ice demon? You killed his boyfriend, you know~aru. Right when poor Berwald was about to propose, too."

Elizaveta's eyes widened a bit.

"I didn't know he had a sweetheart..."

"I'm sure you didn't." I huffed. "I'm sure you also didn't know that my brother and the Grecian man who was with him were in love, and never got to tell each other. I'm sure you have _no idea_ of all the families and relationships you've ripped apart."

"Yao, we're wasting time..." Arthur muttered.

"Shut up!" I told him. "Let me have my moment ~ahen!"

"Aw, you two are cute together~" Elizaveta said.

"We're not together!" Arthur insisted. I rolled my eyes.

"That's not the point. The point is, I am going to kill you." I told her.

"That's not how heroes usually do it..." she said. "Aren't you supposed to interrogate me first? Ask why I'm doing these things?"

"Ugh, fine. Why are you doing these things?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"It's one of those bitter relationships things. You know the drill." she replied.

"Ah... I take it Roderich never showed interest in you?" Arthur asked.

"He was enamored with some Swiss guy." Elizaveta said, nodding. "Anyway, I assume the two of you will find my tale of tragic love boring because, frankly, it is."

"At least you're honest about it." Arthur remarked. "Don't get me started on Francis!"

"Please don't get him started on Francis ~aru." I said.

"Who's Francis?" Elizaveta asked.

"Francis Bonnefoy is-"

"A jerk. We get it." I said, glaring at the both of them. "Can we get on with this ~aruka?"

"Just what I was thinking." Elizaveta said. She held up a pouch. "Guess what's inside."

"I _despise_ guessing games." Arthur sighed.

"A combustible lemon?" I guessed. Elizaveta chuckled.

"Not even close, sweetie." she said. "Here's a hint: what's big and black and was a bit late for December twenty-first, two-thousand-twelve?"

Before I could guess, Arthur nudged me.

"Keep in mind that she's been stealing time, and she obviously isn't using it for eternal youth."

She glared at him.

"So?" I asked.

"So she's giving the time to something else. Probably what's in that bag."

Aw, Arthur's so cute when he's being logical!

"Clever boy!" Elizaveta praised. "I'll spare you the trouble and reveal it now." she reached into the pouch and pulled out...

"Is that what I think it is?" I gasped.

"Depends on what you're thinking." she replied. "Yeah, it's a dragon egg."

It was pitch black and smooth and _a motherfucking dragon egg._

"And it's not just any old dragon, either." Elizaveta continued. "This little baby is the genuine end of the world. Just like the old Norse legends. When Ragnarok here hatches, he'll grow and eat and destroy and basically fuck everything's shit up.

"I'm using the stolen years to speed the process along, since originally, he wasn't scheduled to hatch for another eon or so."

Arthur raised his hand.

"Yes?" Elizaveta asked with amusement.

"Two questions. First, why do you want to bring about the end of the world? Also, won't the dragon kill you, too?"

"I told you I'd spare you the details of my tragic love story. Let's just say hell hath no fury like the killer dragon of a woman scorned." she said. "And Raggy won't kill me. The nice thing about his kind is that when he hatches, he'll bond with the first person he sees. That's why dragons were always extremely careful about where they would lay their eggs.

"And now that you know all this, I'm going to have to kill you."

"Bring it on." I said coldly. "Arthur, hang back. I think I'm better suited to deal with this. My wok is pretty resistant to timey-wimey stuff ~aru."

Arthur compliantly backed up a ways, but didn't look too pleased.

"I'm just as powerful as you are, you know. The only reason I'm doing this is because I could never hurt a woman."

"How gentlemanly." Elizaveta remarked, rolling her eyes. "Whatever. I'll deal with you after I kill your princess."

"Princess?" I exclaimed angrily. I summoned my wok from the pocket dimension in which it resided. "Now I'll have to make you _hurt_ before you die!"

She raised her frying pan.

"Sounds fun." she said, tossing the bag with the egg behind her.

"Never go against a Chinese man when death is on the line..." I said as we began circling each other.

"Is this really the time for Princess Bride references?" Arthur demanded. "Just kill her already!"

"As you wish." I replied.


	19. Dragon Tales

**RedKingOfCake wrote the action sequence. I take no responsibility for whatever amount of blood lost through the nose happens.**

* * *

I'm not sure if I hate Yao or what, but at that moment I definitely felt like throttling him. Maybe Elizaveta would get a few good hits in before he killed her. That would certainly redeem the woman in my eyes, if only slightly.

Yao struck first, and Elizaveta expertly diverted the blow with her frying pan. She was clearly an master of the art of dispatching people with kitchen implements. It was lucky Yao was pretty well off in that department too, or he would've been dead in seconds. Elizaveta swiftly pulled her weapon back and aimed for Yao's head, making him have to duck at an awkward angle.

Recovering quickly, Yao did a backflip, avoiding Elizaveta's next strike at his knees. She reeled backwards after Yao's feet made a solid connection to the underside of her jaw. Sensing she was weakened, Yao bared his teeth in a vicious smile and leapt into the air, swinging his wok above his head in a high arc.

Still a little dazed-looking, Elizaveta wiped the blood from her nose and sidestepped the attack. She turned around sharply, holding the pan out arm extended. Yao's face took on a look of surprise before it slammed right into the cast iron surface with a CLANG! The woman didn't even flinch at the impact. Yao dropped the wok and feel backwards onto the floor.

Elizaveta kicked the wok and sent it skittering away from Yao's reach; he got to his knees, still in a stupor from being hit in the face and unable to think to defend himself. She sneered and raised her arms for the final blow.

My heart stopped. I mean, it was already pretty much stopped to begin with, so I guess it felt more like it started again.

Yao was as good as defeated.

I had never been more terrified or more angry in my life.

It was that moment when I decided that Alfred could go and copulate with himself. Yao needed me.

I started moving forward, not certain what I meant to do. All I knew was that I had to stop her from dealing the killing blow.

_There's no way I'm losing anyone _this_ time._

_Even if it's Yao._

…

Especially_ if it's Yao._

Fuck you, Yao. Stop messing with my bloody emotions.

Everything seemed to go in slow motion, most likely due to that damn frying pan. Before I could get anywhere near them, however, something happened.

I blinked, and Elizaveta was gone.

The frying pan fell to the ground.

And Yao was now a dragon.

Double-you.

Tee.

Eff.

It was like a mix between dragons from western culture, and dragons from eastern culture. He was green with a red mane and gold claws and a long body and holy crap Yao was a dragon.

And it looked like he had just eaten Elizaveta.

"..." I said, staring in awe.

"Hmm... not bad..." Yao said, his dragon voice more gravelly than his human voice. "Kind of like strawberries ~ahen..."

"You... you're..."

"A dragon?" Yao suggested, reverting back to human form. "Mm-hmm. They don't call me the dragon sorcerer for nothing, you know ~ahen."

"I..."

"And yes, dragons have human forms. We study for years to be able to change back and forth so gracefully."

"Uh..."

"And yes, Lukas knows. In fact, he helped me figure out the transformation process. Did you know that he's fairystruck? That helped a lot."

"You..."

"Aaiyah, if you have anything to say then just say it ~aru!"

"You're... you're a dragon."

Yao rolled his eyes.

"Duh."

"Alright, then..." I said, still a bit shocked. I went over to pick up the pouch with the egg in it. "What are we going to do with this? Can you eat it, too?"

Yao looked appalled.

"I could never eat one of my own kind!" he said. "Besides, it would give me indigestion. Let's give it to Mathias or something. _He_ doesn't seem intent on world termination ~ahen."

"If you say so..." I said, picking up the frying pan. "Maybe we should make Lukas return this to Roderich, since he chickened out."

"I love you."

…

Ever have one of those moments where your brain kinda implodes? Yeah.

Yao looked mortified, slapping a hand over his mouth. The words had just slipped out, and there was no control z to save him. But, after a moment of me staring with my mouth slightly agape, he lowered his hand.

"Uh... I did not mean to blurt it out like that in such an unromantic manner, but... now you know ~aru."

I hate myself for what I did next.

I ran.

Why?

Because I'm a coward.

Because I wasn't sure if I was ready to love again, even though Yao and I were both immortal so this relationship actually had a chance.

Because I don't bloody know.

But I do love him.

* * *

**Arthur man the fuck up and make amends(and pitch woo) with Yao RIGHT THIS SECOND. You know my readers hate unhappy endings! Don't leave him hanging, man!**

**Anyway, it seems that I am quite fond of accidental confessions...**


	20. We Go On And On

**Epilogue no. 1! Except about two million more!**

* * *

Ah, sleep. The best escape from reality, aside from sci-fi shows and good books. I lay on the couch with my large gray cat who still didn't have a proper name. My mother was making hot chocolate. Life should have been good.

But it wasn't.

For once in my life, I had a hard time falling asleep. All I could think about was Kiku.

A text arrived from Yao, saying '_Killed that bitch. Revenge is sweet and kinda like strawberries._'

I didn't reply.

I fell asleep.

I found myself in a beautiful garden, with cherry trees in full bloom and koi ponds with clear water and huge fish and Kiku.

"I never want to wake up." I said to myself, walking over to him. He was sitting on a rock, facing away from me. It looked like he was folding something. He looked up when he heard me coming, and smiled so sweetly that I ran the rest of the distance and hugged him.

Or _attempted_ to hug him, at the very least.

"Ah, Heracles-san, I am in a sort of immaterial state at the moment. I wouldn't advice rash movements such as that." he said, tilting his head.

_So I can't touch him, dream world? You drive a hard bargain._

"And this was turning out to be such a nice dream..." I sighed.

"It can still be nice." he assured me, getting to his feet and holding the folded thing behind his back.. "Let's take a walk."

I was in no position to refuse.

We began strolling around the pond, and I could not take my eyes off Kiku. Have I ever mentioned how beautiful Kiku is? Well, I'm mentioning it now.

"So... what brings you to my subconscious?" I asked.

"I was invited." he replied simply.

"And you didn't say no?" I joked. "Who invited you?"

"You did."

"OK..."

We walked in silence for a bit longer, and I tried to figure things out with the philosophical part of my mind.

"So... is this anything like Ghost Town?"

"What's Ghost Town?"

"Uh... it's a movie about this guy has a near death experience... and then he starts seeing ghosts... and then the ghosts start asking him to help complete their unfinished business, but then it turns out that the ghosts only stick around because their living loved ones are holding onto them."

"Ah, I see." Kiku said thoughtfully. "Well, I suppose it's kind of like that, except I more trapped here in your mind and heart than anywhere else. Not many of us get to ascend, but I think Alfred did a half hour ago."

"Alfred?"

"Arthur Kirkland's previous love, apparently."

I thought for a moment.

"Oh. Arthur was that blond vampire with the eyebrows."

"According to Alfred, yes."

"Well... good for him. I figured there was something going on between Arthur and Yao." I said.

"Let's get back on subject." Kiku suggested.

"Which subject?" I asked.

"The one about why I'm here."

"You already explained that."

Kiku sighed. It was so cute.

"I wanted to talk to you about letting me ascend."

"Oh."

I didn't ever want to lose Kiku again, but he obviously preferred going to heaven than staying here.

"I do not want to pressure you." Kiku said. "I can spend plenty of time here."

"But not forever."

"Not forever." Kiku agreed. "You'll need to let go of me."

"I don't ever want to forget you." I told him.

"You don't have to forget," he told me, "just accept that I'm gone."

"I understand." I said. "It'll be hard, but I'll try."

"Thank you very much." Kiku said, smiling at me. "If our positions were reversed, I wouldn't be so ready to let _you_ go, either."

I stared at him. I mean, harder than I was already.

He was never this open back when he was alive.

He noticed my confusion and looked at me knowingly.

"Being dead has lead me to realize how silly it is to keep feelings all bottled up inside. It's nice to have any emotion at all, actually." he explained.

"I see..."

"You don't."

"You're right."

"Of course, you were never one to conceal your emotions." Kiku said.

"So... you knew..."

"How you feel about me? Hai. It took me a while to accept that someone as amazing as you could ever like me, though."

I blinked. Is it possible to get drunk when you're dead? Because that was the only explanation for how sincere Kiku was being.

"Let's not get started on that 'who's more amazing' argument." I said. "It's you, anyway."

Kiku blushed and averted his gaze.

Now _here_ was the Kiku I knew.

"And... how do _you_ feel?" I asked.

"I..." Kiku hesitated. "Even in death, this is difficult... Heracles, I love you."

I felt like singing at that precise moment. I'm glad I didn't, because _sheesh,_ that would have been embarrassing.

I had to make do with a victory fist pump.

"Best dream ever." I remarked.

"Not enough cats, though." Kiku replied.

"Who needs cats when I've got you?" I asked.

We walked some more, occasionally talking about this or that. Eventually, Kiku stopped.

"It's time for you to wake up now. Your hot chocolate is getting cold." he told me.

"Will I never see you again?" I asked.

"I can't say for certain." Kiku said apologetically.

"When I die, I'm going to find you, so make sure you don't double-die or anything." I told him.

"We shall see." he said. He then handed me the paper he had been folding.

It was an origami cat. Not just the simple cat head shape like what's in the books, but a proper cat with proper body. It was black and white and absolutely perfect.

"What's this, a magic charm?" I asked, examining the feline.

"I don't know." Kiku said. "But you can keep it with you, if you want. Just as a way to remember me."

"I won't ever forget." I promised. The surroundings were beginning to spin and fade, and I knew I was waking up. "I wish I could kiss you goodbye, but..."

"Necrophilia isn't healthy." Kiku finished.

"Yeah." I said. "Hey, one more thing. Is this real, or is it happening in my head?"

"Of course it's happening in your head, Heracles, but why should that mean it's not real?" he replied, and I noticed that he didn't use an honorific.

I opened my eyes to find a cup of hot chocolate on the side table by the couch. I sat up, moving the gray cat, and took a sip.

I didn't have the origami cat anymore, since I guess paper isn't something you can carry between realities.

"Heracles..." my mother said. "I know I said that we can't have any more cats, but I think this one needs us..."

I got up and walked over to the kitchen, where I found my mother holding a black and white cat with cool brown eyes.

"And I think we need him, too." I said.

* * *

**I picture Mama Greece as the awesome sort of mother who's kinda strict, but when she treats Heracles she really treats him. She probably thought Heracles and Kiku were totally adorable together and did her best to help them along.**


	21. Cloud Nine

**This chapter is short. I'm sorry. The next one will be longer, but I'm still working on it so it might be a couple days before I post it.**

* * *

"So... hi!" I said. I must have been dreaming again, since I was sporting feathery wings. "I'm Feliciano! It's great that you made it up here! Not many people get a chance to do that!"

The man inclined his head.

"You don't talk much, huh?" I remarked. "That's alright! I can do all the talking! Let me introduce everyone! That over there is Alfred... and that's Kiku, he got in a while after you did... that's Vlad... and there's my brother, but he's still alive. He must be taking a siesta, just like me!"

The man nodded.

"Lovi and I are angels living as humans, so we end up here when we fall asleep. Oh, over there is my grandpa! Hi, grandpa! And that's my boyfriend's grandpa over there... and that was my art teacher, back in school... oh, and that pretty girl is from Seychelles..."

I continued with the introductions, naming everybody I could see. The man listened patiently, nodding here and there.

"Wow," I said after I finished, "you're a good listener! Most people tend to get annoyed with me..."

"My... fiancee l'ked t' talk a lot. I d'n't m'nd." he said.

"Your fiancee? Tell me about her! … or him."

"Tino... he's sweet and k'nd and cute and he has eyes like am'th'st and... I d'n't th'nk he'll ever 'nd up here."

Wow, I finally got him talking!

"Why not?"

"He's 'n ice d'mon."

"A nice demon?" I asked quizzically.

"No... well, he's n'ce, but I m'nt _ice_ d'mon."

"Oh." I said. "Yeah, we don't get too many demons around here... only that sweet islander girl..."

"You m'n it's p'ssible?" he asked.

"Yeah, but the demon has to be totally pure." you explain. "No sins, no murders, virginity intact... virtually impossible for a demon! I'm glad I'm an angel, because they let me experience a bit of gluttony when I'm in the human world!"

"T'no's pure..." the man said.

"Really? He's never killed anyone or done it with anyone or eaten a whole ton of pasta in one sitting?" I asked.

"Well... no." the man said. "I've s'n h'm mad once bef're, 'nd it wasn't fun... 'nd we've slept together... and he eats salmiakki by th' h'ndful..."

"Sorry, then." I said. "Heaven's really picky when it comes to demons. Hell, not so much. Angels end up there _all_ the time. Seriously."

"Hm." the man said.

"What's your name, by the way?" I asked.

"B'rwald." he said.

"Nice to meet you." I told him.

"Nice t' be here... I guess..."

* * *

**My apologies to Myrna Maeve for killing off Vlad. Otherwise, no regrets.**


	22. Stormageddon

**I lied when I said this chapter would take a while. The next one might, though.**

* * *

"Where's Arthur?" Lukas asked the moment I stepped over the threshold.

"Beats me." I said, shrugging bitterly.

"How did the awesome battle go?" Mathias called from the kitchen, as Lukas and I walked over to join him. "Did you get back at that bitch who killed Berwald?"

"I ate her ~aru." I told him. Watching his eyes go wide was slightly amusing.

"Oh. Did you find out why she was stealing people's remaining years?" Lukas asked.

I put the pouch(Arthur had dropped it and the pan) on the table, and Lukas opened it.

"Holy shit." he muttered. Mathias leaned over his shoulder.

"That doesn't look very holy... or shitlike..." he said.

"You're ignorant." Lukas said. "It's a dragon egg. And, if I'm not mistaken, one hell of a problem."

"It's fine. It bonds with the first living thing it sees, or something." I said. "Let's hope there's a motherly chicken in the area... and I've put a spell on the egg, so it'll only hatch for the right person, just like in the Inheritance Cycle."

"Like the _what_ cycle?" Mathias asked. "Is that anything like the water cycle?"

"Well, they're both tedious..." Lukas said.

"Shut up, Lukas. It's an amazing series ~aru." I told him.

"Whatever you say, mister I-hate-Lemony-Snicket-for-no-good-reason." Lukas replied.

"He's depressing!" I insisted.

"Uh, weren't we talking about the egg?" Mathias asked.

"Shut up!" we both said to him.

It felt good, arguing with Lukas, It let me release some of the stress I had gained earlier when Arthur so kindly broke my heart. Defending the Inheritance Cycle gave me something else to concentrate on, and Lukas always likes to go on about A Series Of Unfortunate Events.

"Besides, Temeraire is a _much_ more sophisticated series."

"But it doesn't have Angela ~aru! Or Solumbum! What's a book without Solumbum?"

"I sometimes worry about your taste in literature."

"Guys, the egg is moving... should it be moving?"

Lukas and I both turned and stared at the egg, which Mathias had been examining moments before. It was rocking back and forth, squeaking slightly.

"Aaiyah!" I exclaimed. "Someone start a fire, quick!"

Lukas darted over to the next room and created a magical fire in an instant. I picked up the egg and ran it over, setting it gently amidst the white and blue flames.

"Why is it hatching _now?_" Lukas asked.

"Well... it's supposed to hatch for just the right person..." I said. "Mathias was fiddling with it just a moment ago, right?"

We both looked at Mathias, who looked befuddled.

"Hey, I didn't do anything to it!" he said. "I was only touching it to see how smooth the surface was!"

"Congratulations, Mathias." Lukas said. "You are now the stupidest dragon rider in history. How does that make you feel?"

"A what whater? What the hell is going on?" the taller blond asked.

"Now now, Lukas. We can't be _sure_ that it's hatching for him ~aru." I said. "You were handling it, too, and Jia-Long and Emil are both upstairs."

Lukas seemed satisfied by that, and we all fell silent as the eggshell began to crack.

It took a while, but eventually, a little black dragon emerged. It was... totally adorable.

"Aaiyah!" I exclaimed, picking her(yes, it was a girl) up and hugging her. "How could something so cute ever bring about the end of the world ~aruka? You're so tiny and adorable and- ow! She bit my finger! Aw, she likes me~"

I handed her to Lukas, who seemed to be bracing himself for the shock that occurred when a person became a rider.

Nothing happened.

"Sorry, Lukas ~aru." I said. "Better luck next time."

The Norwegian sighed, and then tried to hand the dragon to Mathias.

"Whoa whoa whoa! I can't hold a baby dragon!" the Dane insisted.

"Why not?" Lukas asked. "She's not that deadly... yet."

Nervously, Mathias stretched out his hand to let the baby apocalypse nuzzle it.

And that's when it happened.

Mathias yelped and fell to the ground, and Lukas handed the dragon to me and then was immediately by his side, making sure he wasn't hurt. The baby dragon blew a ring of smoke in a nonchalant manner.

"Dammit, Mathias." Lukas muttered. "The _one_ guy in the room unfamiliar with dragons..."

"Still, doesn't being a dragon rider give you a longer life expectancy?" I asked. "That is, if you don't die in battle... anyway, this could be a good experience for him. You could mentor him in the ways of magic, and doesn't Zzyzx need one more eternal? He could become an immortal and his dragon could be his guardian ~aru."

"True..." said Lukas as Mathias began to regain consciousness.

"Ugh... why is my head spinning? Did I miss something fun?" the Dane asked groggily.

"Not really ~aru." I said. "Just the naked pillow fight and the drinking contest."

"Oh. Damn." Mathias said. Lukas rolled his eyes.

"If you're gonna be a dragon rider, then you'd better act like it." Lukas said, taking the dragon from me.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Mathias asked.

"Nope." Lukas and I said.

The dragon appeared to share our sentiments.

"You've got to name her ~aru." I said.

"Now?"

"No. She should be fed first. A shame the mark is on your left hand, because that means we're going to have to cut off your right." Lukas said.

Mathias's eyes widened.

"Whaaat?"

"You know, there's some bacon in the fridge."

We all turned to see Tino at the bottom of the staircase, resting his arm on the newly-repaired banister.

"I guess that works too." Lukas sighed.

"Oh. Good." said Mathias.

"Here." I said, handing the dragon to Mathias.

"I think I'll call her Stormageddon." the Dane said thoughtfully.

"Really?" Lukas asked exasperatedly.

"I think it is an excellent name ~aru." I said huffily.

"So what exactly happened to Arthur?" Tino asked.

"I told him that I love him and he ran off." I said bitterly.

"Maybe you being a dragon freaked him out?" Lukas suggested.

"Maybe he's an asshole." Mathias said, watching the dragon climb up his arm and onto his shoulder. It perched there regally, tiny claw's digging in to her rider's shoulder.

"Mathias is right ~aru." I said.

"That may be, but you should go find him and see what's up." Tino said. "You might be surprised."

I rolled my eyes, but Tino had more experience with me and was probably right.

"Fine! At the very least, I might be able to worm an apology out of him ~aru!" I said, getting up to leave.

"Have fun!" Mathias said with a wink.

"As if." I said, handing Lukas the frying pan. "Here, Roderich Edelstein wants this back ~aru."

"Fine." Lukas said in a bored tone.

"Good luck." Tino said as I opened the door.

"Thanks." I said. "I'm sure I'll need it."

* * *

**Rawr!**


	23. After All This Time

**The end of the end can be found at the end of the****end.**

* * *

It was a calm, clear night, which was an uncommon occurrence in London. It merely bothered me because I liked it when the sound of rain muffled my footsteps, and _certainly_ not because I was hoping for a kiss in the rain or anything.

Yes, I had finally decided to man up and tell Yao how I feel. Wallowing in fear wouldn't help anything, and I was already starting to miss the stubborn guy.

I was out on the rooftops once more, but this time I didn't even _think_ about Alfred. I was a man with a mission.

Earlier, I had called Matthew and asked for advice, and then Gilbert told me that I was being stupid and that if I never got over my fear of getting my heart broken, then I would have a pretty pathetic existence for the rest of eternity.

He was right.

What is this madness?

_This..._

_Is..._

_STUPID!_

Hell to the yeah.

Though I knew Yao's address, I preferred to find him using my own methods, like my sense of smell. I always loved how Yao smelled of tea and lotus blossoms... eventually, I caught sight of a very familiar and very nice house. Several people lived in it, though I had only met one of them.

Top floor, second window to the right and straight on in. The window had been left open, despite the rain. The room was just as lovely as when I had first seen it; draped in reds and golds that shimmered slightly in the moonlight. The bed looked luxurious, covered in silk and satin, but the sheets and blanket were a tangled-up mess. It looked like Yao had decided not to make his bed that morning.

"Stupid vampire..." a familiar voice muttered as the door creaked open and Yao entered the room. He hadn't caught sight of me yet, which gave me a chance to prepare myself.

So beautiful, even for a dragon... Dark hair that was back-lit gold with light from the hallway; porcelain skin, unblemished and smooth; a thin yet strong build... and such intense amber eyes that, at the moment, were half-lidded and tired-looking.

"Good _eve_ning." I said in my best vampire voice. Yao's reaction was priceless.

"Aaiyah! What the fuck?" he exclaimed, throwing a pillow at me.

"You know, that's what you said when we first met." I remarked.

"How did you get past the wards that Lukas specifically put up to keep vampires out?!" he asked.

"Ah, I texted him earlier, and he agreed to weaken the barriers for half an hour so I could get in." I said, giving Yao a sheepish grin.

He stared at me for a moment.

"You bastard!" he hissed, picking up another pillow to throw. "I was looking for you and when I couldn't find you I was so worried and you broke my heart and I had no idea what had happened to you and-" I pressed a finger to his lips, effectively silencing him.

"I know, Yao, and I'm _so_ sorry-"

"Oh, you're _sorry_, huh? Gosh, after you've broken into my bedroom twice, made me care about you, broke my heart and had me worried all a day you tell me you're _sorry?_"

Hell hath no fury like the vast robot armies of Yao Wang scorned.

"Well, _I'm_ sorry, but I'm having some issues forgiving you right now!" Yao said with conviction. "And try to be quieter, I don't want Yong Soo raising a fuss! Everyone here's been upset enough without you disturbing our sleep ~ahen!"

"You were the one yelling." I pointed out.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm feeling a bit angry at the moment!" Yao told me. "I'm about to do a motherfucking pirouette off the handle and you're not going to like it, I swear ~ahen!"

"Yao..."

"You have no right to be here, you bastard ~ahen! I could have you arrested!"

"This is what, the fourth story? The police will be wondering how I got up here."

"That's not the point! The point is I hate you and Tino's the one who told me to look for you so when I told him I couldn't find you he was sad and you made Tino sad, you heartless asshole ~ahen!"

"Yao."

"Shut up! I'm talking here! Where was I? Oh yes, Tino! Tino was sad and Mathias said that you're an asshole and I agree with him and I'm sure the dragon does, too! Lukas was kinda like "whatever" but that's what Lukas does and Jia-Long and Emil were asleep but-"

I sensed that this was getting us nowhere, so I leaned in and kissed Yao.

What, don't look at me like that! It was an instinctual comforting mechanism!

I pulled away rather quickly, because I knew that Yao could pull forth his wok any time he wanted.

He stared at me.

I stared right back.

He kicked me in the shin.

"Ow!" I exclaimed. "What the bloody hell was that for?"

"What the fuck was that?" Yao demanded. "Sexual harassment? After you broke my heart? I thought you considered yourself a gentleman, Arthur ~ahen!"

"It was a sort of spur-of-the-moment-romance type thing." I said. "I think gentlemen are allowed to be spontaneously romantic."

"Not when I'm mad at you and you ran away after I confessed my feelings!" Yao said.

For the second time since I had met him, I could see tears in his eyes. It was like a blow to the stomach, especially because those tears were my fault.

"Dammit Yao, I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry I ran." I told him, even though my pride took a heavy blow. But Yao is more important than my pride. "You caught me off guard and I was scared to open my heart again. I still am, actually, but all the kids' telly shows tell you to face your fears, so that's what I'm doing."

Yao blinked as I wiped away his tears.

"You know damn well that I was yours from the moment you locked my in your wardrobe." I said. "I've been nothing but yours since I've known you. Well, I was thirsty at one point, but I was still yours."

"You mean..." said Yao. "After all this time...?"

"Always." I said.

He stared at me for a moment before pulling me into another kiss, followed by two more.

"You idiot..." he breathed.

"I love you, too." I said.

* * *

**Fin.**

**Motherfucking FINALLY, amirite? You choose NOW to be so smooth, Arthur? After twenty-something chapters of tsundere and stubbornness?**

**This is, technically, the end of the story. The final epilogue. If I get inspired to do so, I might write a third fic in the Bitten universe, but it's unlikely... unless I write a Princess Bride-esque tale of how Sweden beat the game and finally managed to marry Finland...**

**Stay tuned for my upcoming story, Abyssinia - a tale much like this one, but entirely different. Feliciano, an orphaned boy living in a theater amidst a zombie/vampire/everything apocalypse, is totally unaware of the world outside, until one fateful day when his brother drags him out into the open. The "open" being New York City in the nineteen thirties. Written like Homestuck and based off Warm Bodies and Halloween!Annie, it will be the reverse of Bite Me and That Bites - by being really dark and tragic until the end.**


	24. Coming To A Game Store Near You

**There comes a time in every boy's life...**

"_I'm just a lowly little street urchin and I have my whole life ahead of me and I'm much too salty and I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"_

**When he fears for his life...**

"_The world is too scary to be on one's own! You guys are all I have left!"_

_Camera shifts to Norway._

"_It's fine if you want to stay here, but we need as many people as possible searching for the cure... you know, the cure for zombie-ness."_

_Scene change to Italy and Finland walking back to the theater._

"_I wish I wasn't what I am. I wish we could all just... you know, not eat each other. All I ever wanted in life was to settle down and have a kid and a dog and someone to keep me warm." says Tino._

**From the author who brought you Bite Me and That Bites...**

"_This isn't another vampire fanfic, is it?"_

**Comes a whole new story...**

"_Maybe that's just what I want... maybe I want him so angry that he'll come up to me so I can say 'Abyssinia, twit' and plug him smooth. And trust me, it won't be any trip for the biscuits, neither. Even if I die, at least I'll go knowing I did something. Death is preferable to a world where a dame like me can't be an actress or canary."_

**With new characters...**

"_I know werewolves are mostly evil, but I don't feel very evil... and I've heard that there are nice werewolves, too! So I'm gonna be a heroic werewolf and save people! I'm gonna practice turning into a wolf as soon as Hana lets me out of bed!"_

**A new format...**

_Geez, you're just as pissy as the Hong Konger. Forget what I said earlier; I hate you both._

_**Cruelly ignore the smart and pretty narrator in an ungentlemanly manner ==**_

_Fuck you._

**A whole new world...**

"_For you and meee~"_

**Wait, that wasn't a thing in nineteen thirty-three.**

**Ahem. Where was I?**

**Oh yes.**

**A whole new narration...**

_**Offer your assistance ==**_

_But-_

_**Do it ==**_

**Our hero, Feliciano Vargas...**

"_Five years ago, a werewolf saved my life."_

**And his friends...**

"_Feli, this is Antonio," Tino says, gesturing to the Spanish man, "and this is Kiku."_

**Must face...**

**Zombies...**

"_Are you... by any chance... Lovino Vargas?"_

**Vampires...**

"_Anything I can do to even the odds."_

**Werewolves...**

"_Italian food! My _favorite!_"_

**And a whole lot of other shit...**

"_What happened?"_

"_I died."_

**You won't want to miss...**

"_This k-keeps happening! People keeping dying for me a-a-and then I have to get saved by some supernatural creature!"_

**Abyssinia.**

**Journey of an un-lifetime.**

"_We call ourselves... Abyssinia"_

* * *

**The first chapter is already up! Go check it out!**


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